Friday, January 18, 2013

Iowa City Fire Dept. Diversity Gap

White Devils (File Photo)
In many unenlightened cities the primary evaluation of the fire department is do they or don't they arrive in a timely manner to squirt water on fires? But in the hipster hamlet of Iowa City, Iowa (no high school students, it's not our capital) they have bigger concerns for their fire department. Like does it employ enough women and present a cultural cross-section representative of anywhere but Iowa?

A quick study of the I.C. fire department shows that is currently infested with 90% white males. That, of course, is simply unacceptable. A cadet program with local high schools is being implemented to help the department close its appalling "diversity gap."

While many simpletons may not see a problem with the lily-white force, this diversity gap has real-world consequences. Two I.C. residents have seen firsthand the carnage wrought by the fire department's lack of diversity. In fact, their home burned to the ground because of it. Helga Miles-Theisen, an assistant woman's track coach at the U of I, and Betsy Miles-Theisen, a physical education teacher at I.C.'s Tate High School, told us about the night their house burned down late last October. 

"The fire started when we left our Hungry-Man dinners in the oven too long," explained Mrz. Miles-Theisen. "When the fire department arrived we noticed right away what an non-diverse group they were. We decided right then and there that we weren't gonna allow them to oppress our home with their big phallic hoses. We locked arms and stood in front of them; an impenetrable wall of flannel. Soon our neighbors joined in and we all sang 'We Shall Overcome.'"

After the house burned to the foundation, the other Mrz. Miles-Theisen recalls how the firefighters added insult to injury. "When the pale-scrotumed savages finally gave up and left, I heard one of them refer to us as 'a couple of dingbats.' I can only assume that's some sort of sexist epithet."

While diversity programs may help remedy these problems, some forward-thinking I.C. citizens are questioning whether the city even needs a fire department. Dr. Moonbeam Grass-Weaver Dysentery, a tenured professor of Transcendental Environmentalist Studies at the U of I spoke in favor of abolishing the city's fire department outright at a recent city council meeting. "First of all, I'm not comfortable with the term Fire-fighter," explained Dr. Dysentery. "Can't we all learn to live in peace and harmony with Fire, as we should with Earth and Wind?"

The city council ran with Dr. Dysentery's idea and unanimously voted to conduct a $625,000 year-long study to better understand the motivation of Fire. Perhaps with the fire department abolished, all those firefighters will have time, while standing in the unemployment line, to reflect upon their years of watery oppression of our fiery brothers and sisters.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

States Stepping Into The Breach

From our friends at the Tenth Amendment Center:

Texas, Missouri Join Other States Looking To Block Gun Bans

On the same day President Obama called for a ban on assault weapons and high capacity magazines, a Texas legislator filed a bill asserting, “Not in my state.”

On Wednesday, the Lone Star State joined five other states already considering legislation that would block enforcement of federal firearms acts in violation of the Second Amendment.

Texas Rep. John Otto (R-Dayton) announced the filing of HB553 on Wednesday morning. The bill would make it a misdemeanor for any state or federal official to “enforce or attempt to enforce any acts, laws, executive orders, agency orders, rules or regulations of any kind whatsoever of the United States government relating to confiscating any firearm, banning any firearm, limiting the size of a magazine for any firearm, imposing any limit on the ammunition that may be purchased for any firearm, taxing any firearm or ammunition therefore, or requiring the registration of any firearm or ammunition therefore.”

“The Second Amendment won’t enforce itself,” Tenth Amendment Center communications director Mike Maharrey said. “The Bill of Rights is nothing but a piece of parchment without some power behind it stepping in and holding the federal government in check. James Madison said when the feds pass an unwarrantable measure, the means of opposition to it are powerful and at hand. He was referring to the state governments. Texas has the opportunity to do just what the founders intended, interpose and resist an out of control federal government and protect the most basic rights of its citizens.”

Texas doesn’t stand alone in the fight. On Tuesday, Missouri Rep. Casey Guernsey (R-Bethany) introduced HB170, a similar bill that would block enforcement of a wide range of unconstitutional federal restrictions on firearms. The bill affirms the state’s authority to regulate firearms made and owned exclusively within Missouri, and makes it a felony for any federal agent to attempt to enforce a federal regulation on such weapons. The bill then goes a step further.

Any federal law, rule, regulation, or order created or effective on or after January 1, 2013 shall be unenforceable in the state of Missouri if the law, rule, regulation, or order attempts to:

(1) Ban or restrict ownership of a semi-automatic firearm or any magazine of a firearm; or

(2) Require any firearm, magazine, or other firearm accessory to be registered in any manner.
Maharrey called proactive steps by state legislatures crucial.

Maharrey called these state actions crucial.

“The president made it clear that he will push Congress hard to ban certain weapons, a clear violation of the spirit of the Second Amendment, which forbids any abridgement of the right to keep and bear arms. Banning clearly abridges. Look the word up; it’s pretty clear,” he said. “Like every American, I am horrified at the evil perpetrated by the killer at Sandy Hook elementary. But we cannot use one act of evil as an excuse to perpetrate another. And make no mistake; allowing the federal government to strip away our fundamental rights is an act of calculated evil. We can’t trust the feds to reign in their own power. The states must step in and protect their people.”

Wyoming, Tennessee, South Dakota and South Carolina also have similar bills pending before their legislatures. Sources close to the Tenth Amendment Center indicate as many as a dozen more states could follow suit in the coming weeks.

To track Second Amendment Preservation legislation across the U.S. visit: