IT'S ONLY CENSORSHIP IF SOMEONE ELSE DOES IT

 Wow. Are we lucky or what? The incoming Biden Administration, with the full cooperation of the State-Sponsored Media, is releasing a new series of WWII-style "Patriotic & Educational" posters to enlighten the American public as to their real roles and responsibilities in our democracy.

My how far we've come from the hoary, old-fashioned delusions of those dead white guys once labeled the Founding Fathers who spewed such sentiments as these...

“For if Men are to be precluded from offering their Sentiments on a matter, which may involve the most serious and alarming consequences, that can invite the consideration of Mankind, reason is of no use to us; the freedom of Speech may be taken away, and, dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep, to the Slaughter.” George Washington

“Reason and free inquiry are the only effectual agents against error.” Thomas Jefferson

“In those wretched countries where a man cannot call his tongue his own, he can scarce call anything his own. Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech; a thing terrible to publick traytors.” Benjamin Franklin.

Put all that behind you and enjoy today's more enlightened views on the subject.

Remy: I Need a Hashtag!

Finally a truly effective weapon against the enemies of freedom and justice!

Hypocritical Buttmunch Decries Militarized Police

“[T]he scenes that we saw in Ferguson, Missouri, this past week, with a militarized police force facing down innocent protesters with sniper rifles and machine guns is totally unacceptable in America." So said U.S. Represenatative Wm. Lacy Clay Jr. (D) Missouri, who represents Ferguson, Missouri.


Rep. Wm. Lacy Clay Jr.
(D-bag, Missouri)

After the events in Ferguson, Rep. Clay and Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D), Missouri, met with Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel to discuss the "1033 program" which gives federal military equipment to local police. In his words: "The discussion allowed us to share our objections, and those of our constituents, who are seeking a vigorous review of the existing 1033 program and some important changes to ensure public safety and the preservation of fundamental constitutional rights.


"That includes the right to assemble and peacefully protest without the unacceptable threat of an overbearing police response which targets law-abiding citizens with military weapons and technology."


He also hoped "that this effort will spur a national discussion about how to achieve a fundamental shift in local law enforcement, away from military-style responses, and towards a more community-based policy.”


Rep. Clay certainly sounds passionately in opposition of arming local police with military weapons. Yet in June this conniving little weasel voted against an amendment that would have prohibited the transfer of certain military surplus items to police.


According to reason.com: "In June, the House of Representatives voted on a series of amendments to H.R. 4435, the National Defense Authorization Act.  Among the amendments was one by Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) which would’ve prohibited funds from being used to transfer certain kinds of military surplus to local police departments. The amendment failed by a wide margin, with only 62 votes for and 355 against.


"House leadership on both sides also voted against it, including Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), Steny Hoyer (D-Md.), Eric Cantor (R-Va.), and Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.)"


Of the 41 voting members of the House Black Caucus (many of whom are now decrying police militarization) only 7 voted for the Grayson amendment.


None of this is meant to defend the federal government's giveaway program. (It's unconstitutional, like most of what they do. Besides, if they want to give away MRAP's and grenade launchers, give me and Bawb some!) It's just meant to point out that Congresscritters like Lacy Clay are two-faced creeps. I'm sure he'll be reelected handily.



YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL IF...

    

You Might be a Liberal if…

1.     You think a journalist briefly embedded with American troops immediately loses all objectivity and credibility, but that a journalist with his head permanently embedded up Barack Obama’s ass can see everything with unusual clarity and honesty.

2.     You screamed and ranted to have Guantanamo Bay permanently shut down every day for years, but haven’t uttered a single peep about it since Day 2 of Obama’s First Term.

3.     You proudly proclaim yourself to be fully Pro-Choice, but insist that others should not be allowed to choose to buy a gun, pick their children’s school, smoke a cigarette, practice their religion, have their own doctor or purchase an extra-large soda.

4.     You have constant, irresistible urges to mindlessly bleat and follow the herd.

5.     You believe that the phrase “Separation of Church and State” actually appears in the United States Constitution.

6.     You believe “separation of church and state” means that the government can monitor and tell a Christian pastor exactly what he can or cannot say within the confines of his own church but that Muslim Sharia law should supersede American civil and criminal law.

7.     You know that “the right of the People” actually means “only the National Guard” and that “shall not be infringed” translates into “total control at the government’s whim.”

8.     You believe the purpose of the education system is to promote children’s self esteem and to “advance social justice” so it doesn’t matter if the kids can’t do basic math and are functionally illiterate upon graduation from high school.

9.     You think Adolph Hitler was a mass murderer but that Joseph Stalin was a “world democratic leader” and Mao Tse Tung was a “people’s agrarian reformer”.

10.                         You eagerly accept Al Jazeera, Whitehouse press releases, the SPLC, fortune cookies and Ouija boards as 100% reliable news sources but won’t watch Fox News because it’s all a pack of lies.

11.                        You think you are saving the planet by driving an electric car which is re-charged from a coal-fired power plant’s electricity and generates a large amount of toxic metal waste every few years when you have to replace the inefficient rechargeable lithium battery.

12.                         You believe that prior to 2008, Bush and Cheney were personally responsible and maliciously culpable when consumer gasoline prices rose anywhere over $4 per gallon, but whenever gas hits the same price range under Obama, the president has absolutely nothing to do with these sort of things and has no control over them anyway.

13.                         You think that the worst economy, unemployment and net job losses since the Great Depression for almost four years running is a fabulously successful government-led economic recovery and rebound.

14.                         You believe that the only thing the Media should “fact-check” for the duration of Obama’s Presidency is Saturday Night Live skits.

15.                         You refer to a Muslim or minority who happily machine-guns a school bus full of nuns and Girl Scouts on live television as “the alleged shooter”, “misunderstood” and innocent until proven guilty. At the same time, if a petty criminal paid government informant alleges that a white militia member advocated something violent, he should automatically be referred to in perpetuity as an evil racist homophobic bigoted blood-thirsty hate-mongering murderer.

16.                         You think that large American cities such as Detroit and Chicago lying in physical and fiscal ruins was caused by not enough government.

17.                        You see absolutely no contradiction and believe both when the government tells you that four out of five American school children go hungry each day while at the same time saying that seven out of ten American school children are grossly obese.

18.                         You believe no one should need to show any form of ID whatsoever to vote in an election but that it’s perfectly reasonable and acceptable that you should have to present two forms of government-issued ID, a DNA sample and submit to a full body search in order to attend a speech by Eric Holder explaining why you don’t need any ID to vote.

19.                         You think that paid union thugs and/or paid OWS protestors screaming for “war” and committing acts of violence and vandalism in the streets falls under the category of “peaceful, productive civil discourse” but that the Tea Party is an inherently dangerous army of hate-mongers with a penchant for violence who must be immediately and fully suppressed by government forces using any means necessary.

20.                        You believe that if you have a black father, a white mother and a last name of Obama, you are 100% black but if you have an Hispanic father, a white mother, and a last name of Zimmerman, you are 100% white. And racist.

21.                        You know that Freedom of Speech is rendered null and void if said speech might possibly offend a Liberal and/or cause “hurt feelings.”

22.                         You got really pissed off reading this.

 

BARRY'S BUDDY BILLY

Bill Ayers, circa 1970.

 Barry’s ol’ pal Bill "Boom Boom" Ayers was briefly back in the news again. Billy was speaking at the campus of Kent State University where, in a Vietnam War Protest in 1970, four protesters were shot by Ohio National Guardsmen in what became known as the Kent State Massacre.

After four days and three nights of rioting in the streets, smashing windows, burning down buildings, as well as on-and-off pelting of policemen, firemen and National Guardsmen with rocks, bricks, bottles, tear gas canisters and profanities, some 29 of the Ohio National Guardsmen present fired their M1 Garands into a crowd of several hundred protestors. When the smoked cleared, four students lay dead and nine wounded. It was and still is a tragedy.

Personally, though, I find the cause-and-effect pretty easy to follow. If I were dealing with a couple of platoons of confused and nervous young men with loaded rifles being surrounded by a huge mob, I would probably not start hurling profanities and bricks into their faces to defuse the situation. It’s kind of like one of those TV animal show idiots. “Krikey! Didja see that? When I poked that Black Mamba in the pills with a cattle prod, it struck me!” No shit, Sherlock. Who’da thunk?

Anyway, Bill Ayers was there at Kent State giving some kind of speech about it. Probably something along the lines of, “Their sacrifices will not be in vain because now we’re in charge and next time we’ll be shooting them down in the streets and we’ll fire a lot more than 67 bullets and it will be justified this time because we’re doing it!”

That would be my guess anyway, since when asked by a reporter to compare his own terrorist actions in setting off bombs and trying to kill people with the recent Boston Marathon Bombers’ terrorist actions in setting off bombs and trying to kill people, Ayers threw a typical uber-Liberal hissy bitch fit.

“How dare you compare our activism to their terrorism?!?! Setting off bombs and killing people in order to further wacko Leftist/Communist causes is good, clean, all-American freedom of speech and for the benefit of all mankind. Setting off bombs and killing people to advance religion, any religion, even the Religion of Peace, is an abomination and must not be tolerated!”

He finished by calling John McCain a baby killer. Or words to that effect; I didn’t have the stomach to listen to it all.

For those who get their news from the MSM and think Bill Ayers is an “activist”, “retired professor” and an “American elementary education theorist”, we’ll have to bring you up to speed. Bill Ayers was (is) a genuine domestic terrorist, even though he’s never been to a Tea Party rally nor joined the NRA or ever gone to Mass. As a charter member of the 1960’s radical Communist terrorist group Weather Underground, Billy Boy was involved in detonating bombs at the U.S. Capital Building, the Pentagon, and police stations around the country. Such terrorism was actually just a perfectly legitimate way of showing displeasure with the Vietnam War, at least now that Nixon rather than Kennedy or Johnson was running it, according to Terrorist Bill.

As to his own bomb-throwing days, Bill said in a 2000 interview (while trying to promote one of his books…although I’m certain that such an avowed Communist would never take money from a Capitalist publisher) "I don't regret setting bombs" and, "I feel we didn't do enough" and implied some more bombing might even be in order. After getting his tit caught in a wringer over that, Bill later claimed Weather Underground only engaged in “acts of extreme radicalism against property” and didn’t hurt anyone.

It wasn’t for lack of trying. Perhaps the biggest real difference between Ayers’ Weather Underground and the Boston Bombers was one of sheer incompetence rather than lack of deadly intent. When members of the Black Panther Party were on trial for a plot to bomb New York City landmarks and apartment stores, Bill and the Weather Underground tried to ride to the rescue of their fellow left-wing terrorists by attacking the home of the trial’s presiding judge with Molotov cocktails in the middle of the night. Fortunately for the judge and his sleeping family, the intricacies of Molotov technology were just too much for the future college professor and education innovator; Ayers & Co. only succeeded in damaging the family car and melting down a snowman in the yard with their cocktails.

After setting off a couple of real bombs which disappointingly only caused minor damage to the Pentagon and U.S. Capital Building, Bill decided they’d better step things up a bit and commit better radical acts against property. Bill’s Weather Underground sweetheart and two male buddies attempted to construct a really nice bomb by packing steel pipes full of dynamite surrounded by roofing nails and fencing staples, since it’s obviously shrapnel and not blast which radically damages property but doesn’t hurt people. The bomb was destined for nearby army post Fort Dix, NJ, where it was to be exploded in the midst of a family dance at the Enlisted Men’s club, where it no doubt would have done some really radical crepe paper and bottled beverage property damage but was not intended, according to Ayers, to actually hurt anyone in the crowded dancehall when it exploded in a hail of shrapnel.

Since the whole gasoline-in-a-glass-bottle concept of the earlier Molotov cocktails had proven too much for the combined intellect of the Weather Underground, it should come as no big surprise that in the debate over whether to connect the wire to the blasting cap before or after connecting it to the battery, the three terrorists obliterated themselves and indeed the entire four-story townhouse they were in the basement of at the time. Most people would call such wanna-be bombers morons; Bill calls them heroic martyrs for the people.

Bill told an FBI informant in the 1970’s he was pissed because there just weren’t enough bombings being carried out around the country, as per his instructions, presumably for lack of resolve but just as likely from lack of fingers amongst the Intellectual Left’s bomb making experts. Brave Bomber Bill even had to personally send his replacement sweetheart and eventual wife, Bernadine Dohrn, to go plant another TNT-and-shrapnel bomb at a San Francisco police station. When the bomb exploded it committed several radical acts against the police station itself, but also “accidentally” just happened to kill Police Sgt. Brian McDonnell in the process.

Bill and Bernadine spent most of the 70’s on the run from the law, but did find time along the way to get married, the joyous occasion marred by tragedy when fellow Weather Underground friends attempting to tie tin cans and shoes to the bumper of the newlyweds’ car blew it up, injuring twelve people.

Due to another surprising development, FBI misconduct, in 1980 Federal charges against Bill and Bernie were dropped. But the California state charges against Bernadine remained. For the murder of an on-duty police officer, she was hit with the heart-breaking sentence of three years’ probation and a $1,500 fine. That’ll teach her.

Now released from life underground evading the authorities, Bill went to school to become an educator, a highly acclaimed expert in such subjects as (I can’t even make this up) “social justice” and “urban education reform”, but failing miserably (three times) a freshmen-level chemistry class entitled “Black Wire Safe, Red Wire Boom!”. Eventually he became, and again I can’t make this shit up, a "Distinguished Professor of Education" and "Senior Anniversary Scholar" at the College of Education at the University of Illinois, Chicago. In his spare time, he devoted his towering intellect to caring for the badly burned former students of his short-lived Molotov 101 course.

Bill also worked closely with and for the City of Chicago and former Mayor Richard M. Daley, playing a major role in reforming the Chicago Public School System into what it is today, namely a great big lump of shit and the worst in the country. To this day, the surviving students at Karl Marx Junior High still use a statue of Bill Ayers to hide behind when the daily bursts of gang-related gunfire become too thick to run through. He also wrote a bunch of books nobody but liberal kooks ever read, such as (still not making it up) Teaching Toward Freedom: Moral Commitment and Ethical Action in the Classroom and Sing a Battle Song: The Revolutionary Poetry, Statements, and Communiques of the Weather Underground 1970-1974, as well as two autobiographies using the pen name Barack Hussein Obama. He officially retired from teaching in 2010 but vowed to remain, “an arrogant, mouthy pain in the ass” for as long as his city needed him.

There was some controversy concerning the relationship between Presidential Candidate Barack Obama and terrorist Bill Ayers during the 2008 Election. Obama smoothly explained away the misunderstanding on CNN.

“Sure, maybe we sat together on some exclusive 6-9 member boards of directors for a few different foundations for years at a time, and he may have held an occasional fund raiser and coffee klatch or wife swap in his living room for me. Possibly, he babysat my children once or twice when they were young, from ages two to eight. When he gave money to my campaigns, I took it. It’s not inconceivable that he wrote an autobiography or two for me. I may have even taken long, hot showers with him and perhaps referred to him using playful nicknames such as ‘Obi-Wan’ and ‘Guru’ and ‘Massah’.”

“But to suggest that this cra-a-a-a-zy radical kook is anything more than just some guy I bumped into down in da ‘hood or has influenced me any way, shape or form is just a vicious smear campaign of lies hurled against me by a pathetic and desperate McCain Campaign and Fox News because they’re racists!”

Afterwards, the assembled MSM journalists looked at their watches and minutely dissected Obama’s speech for any discrepancies and, after upwards of 1/10^th of a second of this exhaustive fact-checking, said, “Obama said it. Must be true. Let’s go file our stories and get shit-faced! We sure dodged that bullet!"

The trend continues to this day. This is why Obama can make a “joke” at a recent press banquet that’s he’s not the same “young Muslim Socialist” he once was and the assembled hacks all titter like school girls.

The Press has bent over backwards to ignore Obama’s membership in the Socialist Party ever since 2008. When merely not reporting the story wasn’t enough to make it go away, the bastards actually ran interference for the sonofabitch. Five years later, this past February, the investigative journalists of the Associated Press went so far as to pool their vast information gathering resources to run another “fact check” investigation to definitively dismiss the entire story as just a right wing kook tinfoil hat myth perpetrated by racists.

Then, two weeks later, the very minutes of the New Party Chicago’s own January 11, 1996 meeting are unveiled as proof positive that Barry not only joined the radical New Party Socialist order, but took and signed their oath, and asked for their endorsement.

The MSM immediately reacted with…THUNDEROUS SILENCE. If we don’t report it, and pretend it never happened, then it didn’t. At least as far as the average evening news-watching sheeple is concerned.

So, if the little “joke” about him being a Socialist is actually true, what about the Muslim thing? While I do think he has strong Islamic tendencies and sympathies, not even I think Barack is a real Muslim. That would require belief in a higher power than Barack Obama.

Now that’s a myth. Just ask the media.

Jim Carrey: Talking Ass

CHICAGO JOB MARKET...GREEN SHOOTS!

Oh no! There's no election with a (D) candidate in sight, you're down to your last half a pack of free DNC-brand smokes and your next check doesn't come until the end of the month. What to do, what to do?

Don't worry your useless little mouths, liberal friends. Hope is here again! You can earn $9-$11 per hour as a Paid Demonstrator! While not quite as lucrative as our Paid Multiple Voter positions, Paid Demonstrators can look forward to work year-round, even during non-election years. Benefits include free bus rides, left-over election cigarettes, cheap liquor of your choice, and various "spontaneous" signs, placards and T-shirts you can take home to wear/live under. Particularly unruly participants may be eligible for our extended all-you-can-loot benefits package. We are an equal-opportunity employer and do not discriminate on the basis of race, gender, faith (except Christian), intelligence, disability, incoherence, or personal hygiene. Conservatives of any race or gender need not apply. All earnings are, of course, tax free although our labor union representative Vito the Grinder will be there to strongly encourage donations to the SEIU Charity Fund. Just look for the guy with a purple suit and no neck.

So, when fraudulent voting just isn't enough, think Paid Protestor!

(Hey Ben, maybe you and the family can head up to Chicago next weekend and make a little extra bread?)

Iowa City Fire Dept. Diversity Gap

White Devils (File Photo)

In many unenlightened cities the primary evaluation of the fire department is do they or don't they arrive in a timely manner to squirt water on fires? But in the hipster hamlet of Iowa City, Iowa (no high school students, it's not our capital) they have bigger concerns for their fire department. Like does it employ enough women and present a cultural cross-section representative of anywhere but Iowa?

A quick study of the I.C. fire department shows that is currently infested with 90% white males. That, of course, is simply unacceptable. A cadet program with local high schools is being implemented to help the department close its appalling "diversity gap."

While many simpletons may not see a problem with the lily-white force, this diversity gap has real-world consequences. Two I.C. residents have seen firsthand the carnage wrought by the fire department's lack of diversity. In fact, their home burned to the ground because of it. Helga Miles-Theisen, an assistant woman's track coach at the U of I, and Betsy Miles-Theisen, a physical education teacher at I.C.'s Tate High School, told us about the night their house burned down late last October. 

"The fire started when we left our Hungry-Man dinners in the oven too long," explained Mrz. Miles-Theisen. "When the fire department arrived we noticed right away what an non-diverse group they were. We decided right then and there that we weren't gonna allow them to oppress our home with their big phallic hoses. We locked arms and stood in front of them; an impenetrable wall of flannel. Soon our neighbors joined in and we all sang 'We Shall Overcome.'"

After the house burned to the foundation, the other Mrz. Miles-Theisen recalls how the firefighters added insult to injury. "When the pale-scrotumed savages finally gave up and left, I heard one of them refer to us as 'a couple of dingbats.' I can only assume that's some sort of sexist epithet."

While diversity programs may help remedy these problems, some forward-thinking I.C. citizens are questioning whether the city even needs a fire department. Dr. Moonbeam Grass-Weaver Dysentery, a tenured professor of Transcendental Environmentalist Studies at the U of I spoke in favor of abolishing the city's fire department outright at a recent city council meeting. "First of all, I'm not comfortable with the term Fire-fighter," explained Dr. Dysentery. "Can't we all learn to live in peace and harmony with Fire, as we should with Earth and Wind?"

The city council ran with Dr. Dysentery's idea and unanimously voted to conduct a $625,000 year-long study to better understand the motivation of Fire. Perhaps with the fire department abolished, all those firefighters will have time, while standing in the unemployment line, to reflect upon their years of watery oppression of our fiery brothers and sisters.

MORE PEACE, HOPE AND LOVE FROM THE LEFT

We've noted here before that if you say something like, "I think Obama's policies are asinine and bad for the country," the Left believes that to constitute hate-filled rhetoric and a call for violence and you should be immediately jailed. Like hate crimes, racism and the 1st Amendment, the Left believes such things to be a one-way street paved with double standards.

Just so you will be able to distinguish between hate-filled rhetoric, intolerance and bigotry, the video below is all of those things.



The actual comments from the progressives and socialists in response to the video are, of course, free from any hate-filled rhetoric, calls for violence, intolerance or bigotry. A sample follows. Notice the command of punctuation, grammar and spelling possessed by the self-proclaimed "intellectual" leftists. Note also the calm, reasonable, cerebral and logical discourse they use to rationally and intellectually present their point of view and win you over to it.

“can someone kill that child…to teach his parents a lesson!!!

"Where is Jerry Sandusky when you really need him? This kid needs a shower!!!!!!"

"Shoot tha kid! Kill tha Parents!!!"

"This child and his parents need to be euthanized"

"If I could id kill this kid. He’s somewhat racist and brings up obama stereotypes. Dumb redneck."

"Someone send this kid to Jerry Sanduskys House"

And my personal favorite example of tolerant non-hate-filled rhetoric...

"GO F*** YOUR MOTHER YOU LITTLE C***SUCKING HOMOPHOBIC GUN LOVING C***SUCKER IF YOU WERE MY F****** KID I WOULD BE GIVING YOU THE BIGGEST S**T KICKING OF A LIFETIME YOU LITTLE GOOF GOD FEARING GOOD FOR F****** NOTHING F****** C***SUCKER!!!!!!"

To quote Van Johnson in the cinematic Mel Brooks classic Blazing Saddles after a stream of gibberish from Gabby Johnson, "Now who can argue with that?"

Well, say the leftists, he had the audacity not to hope. Speaking ill of the Messiah is, after all, verboten. Instead, how about Olympic athlete trap-shooter Corey Cogdell, who also (the horror!) actually hunts. Surely she wouldn't be attacked just for that. Think again.

"pity the bus didn't crash. You are a waste of oxygen and an embarassment to the human race.Karma is a bitch."

"F***k you!"

"please go shoot yourself in the knees. YOU ANIMAL MURDERER!! you're a disgusting human being."

"kill yourself please !"

"What a f***ing waste! WTFIs wrong with ppl?cruel!! These ppl need to be shot deheaded and posted on a wall"

"sad, so sad maybe she needs to feel a shoot to understand"

"I hope that someone someday shoot your whole familly just practicing." 

Just in case this isn't enough love, tolerance and rational discourse for you, here's a few items we've brought up over the past few years.

SOME VICTIMS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS

AN EDUCATED AND INFORMED ELECTORATE

The liberal elite, especially in politics, the press and academia, always attribute to themselves a smug intellectual superiority to the washed masses on the "other side". We drooling hicks out here in Guns 'n' Bibles cretin Country, who march in lockstep to our masters' commands, with small minds and small thinking (you know...the Constitution, rights, freedom, sovereignty, etc.) are obviously inferior in intellect.  We are brain-washed buffoons willing to do the bidding of giant corporations and evil Republicans at the drop of a hat. To prove this, the libs come up with brilliant oratory and sweeping ideas expressing deep thoughts and a profound understanding of  Utopian ideals.

"Hope 'n' Change."
"Yes We Can."
"O-ba-ma."
"Give Me Money!"

A gathering of a million individuals, on their own initiative, without any Big Two Party affiliation, to express conscious and rational beefs against governmental excesses and over-reach, if it gets reported at all, is an Astroturf Movement, robots clanking in step, doing the bidding of their dark overlords. A gathering of four lesbians and eight paid protestors with misspelled placards, on the other hand, is "Grass Roots", a "Movement", "the People."



Take, for instance, the recent "protests" against Karl Rove. Here we see a true George Soros funded Rent-A-Mob (TM) Grass Roots political movement with deeply-felt convictions which the participants express with great credence and eloquence indeed.

Such as:
"Bullshit. Get off it.
The enemy is profit."

"Karl Rove is...a guy."

"Just right now in the conference was my first time hearing his name."

"I don't like the guy."

Or my favorite, see how many times you can work the talking point phrase "Neo-Con Agenda" into one sentence.

That last guy is...a guy. And I don't like the guy. See, we can offer intellectual political discourse as well.

HOW IMPORTANT IS THE IOWA CAUCUS?

Well, that depends on who wins it and if the media likes him.




Nope, no media bias. Nothing to see here. Move along.

HERES YOU'RE SIGN

Remember when your old school teacher corrected grammar and spelling errors on your homework in bright red marker? Well, it looks like it's time to return the favor to these striking union teachers in Wisconsin.

Save our teachers.

"Unions are my cup of tea." To be technical, with a plural noun, the proper form would actually be, "Unions are my cups of tea."

The proper spelling is negotiations.

I voted for Walker and I am or I'm sorry!

It's or it is all about the collective bargaining comma stupid.

Hey Voss, you're or you are not the boss!

Scott Walker is a bitch, or Scott Walker's a bitch.

Walker, may I "modestly" kick you in the nuts?

While the following signs are correctly spelled, it would seem that perhaps the protesters involved should learn the definition of a new word.

hypocrisy [hi-pok-ruh-see] n. a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.

Somehow, this last story doesn't surprise me a bit now.

Two-Thirds of Wisconsin Public-School 8th Graders Can’t Read Proficiently—Despite Highest Per Pupil Spending in Midwest

HOLDER HOLDS OUT

In recent testimony before Congress, Attorney General Eric “Heinrich” Holder, under fire from operations so controversial that even CBS news was forced to report them, staunchly defended the policies of the Obama Administration and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Explosives, BB Guns, Slingshots, Cutlery, and Sharp Sticks.

Facing particular criticism for what he termed “super-secret choco-fudgie” operations such as “Project Gunrunner”, "Project Gun Slitherer", “The Fast and the Furious”, “The Bold and the Beautiful”, “Point Break”, and “It’s Budget Appropriations Time and We Already Killed the Branch Davidians”, Holder lashed back at critics in government and the media.

“Senator Grassley,” Holder began in his prepared statements yesterday. “You can kiss my black ass.”

“We all know that Americans…well, except for us oppressed minorities such as Black Panthers, La Raza, and the Muslim Brotherhood…are responsible for everything bad that ever happens in the entire world.” Holder said before the cameras in the Senate Cloakroom. “Now our bizarre passion for selling high-powered weaponry via gunshow ‘loopholes’ and shady ‘sporting goods retailers’ threatens the very foundations of North American civilization, nay, that of the entire world.”

“Now, our superior southern neighbors, the peace-loving leading human rights leader Mexico, which enjoys the third highest standard of living in North America, have had their Utopia turned into a violent wasteland of bloodshed and brutality. All because of Americans…well, white right-wing rural Americans clinging bitterly to God and guns…insisting on the fraud of personally-owned firearms, for which there is no Constitution basis whatsoever, as Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan assures me.”

Eric Holder poses with what he claims are American sporting goods seized from drug lords by Mexican authorities.

“Behind me you see just a tiny portion of the guns sold commercially in the United States at so-called 'Sporting Goods' stores, guns which have given drug cartels the power to make the streets of Mexico run red with blood. Over 90% of these weapons were purchased over-the-counter in Texas and Arizona. What’s that Senator?…Well, okay, the vast majority of them anyway. Actual percentage? Um, a lot of them. Real numbers? Uh, um, actually, well there’s a single-shot .410 shotgun with a bent barrel and no hammer which you can’t see behind me. Yeah! We actually traced that one back to the U.S. Just think of the mayhem and carnage that one must have caused! Never mind it was actually purchased by an ATF agent.”

“That weapon has been traced back to a hotbed of sedition known as Jim Bob’s Beer, Bait & Ammo in Guano, Texas. The Southern Poverty Law Center, a solid and trusted source of information for Federal law enforcement agencies, has released information indicating the strong possibility of firm speculation they just now made up that this store is merely a front for a vicious ring of subversive racist anti-government extremists calling themselves ‘fishermen’ who have possibly been linked to the Tea Parties, the VFW, and the Baptist Church.

The source of the gun(s) which soaked the precious soil of Mexico with blood, according to the SPLC.

“The leader of this vicious gang of cutthroats is purported to be Billy Bob Chumslinger, a noted white person, military veteran, and Christian. For the safety and security of other nations, we must stamp out these kinds of nefarious criminals before they protest the adoption of Sharia law in the United States, fly the American flag, or question our authority by bringing up that most treasonous of all documents, the Constitution.

“As Attorney General, with the full backing of the President, Kenya, and the Third World Shithole Council of the UN, I have found it well within my authority to order a series of surgical Tomahawk missile strikes on this threat to world peace.

“Remember, I’m from the government and I’m here to help you...or else!”

FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU “BUSH STOLE THE ELECTION!”

Yes indoodly doo boys and girls. It’s that time of year, election time. I’m supposed to remind you to go out and vote in the mid-terms because YOUR VOTE COUNTS. Actually, if voting could actually change the government, it would be illegal. But you should go out and vote anyway, even if it is generally tilting at windmills. YOUR VOTE COUNTS, but some votes count more than others, and some voters vote more than others.

The scene of a recent massive Democrat voter registration drive in Chicago.

We’re all familiar with the Chicago political machine, where the slogan has always been, “Vote early and vote often.” Just the deceased and fictional voters will probably be enough to put the Democrats over the top. But just in case, actual ballots also contain ”mistakes” to point actual voters in the right, or rather left, direction.

"The last name of Green Party gubernatorial candidate Rich Whitney is misspelled as "Whitey" on electronic-voting machines in nearly two dozen wards -- about half in predominantly African-American areas -- and election officials said Wednesday the problem cannot be corrected by Election Day.

At the municipal and county level other non Democrat candidates just happened to have their names misspelled, too. For instance, the GOP candidate for Dog catcher, William Kieger’s name appeared on the ballots as William KKKieger and Third Party candidate for Sewer Chief, Adam Hiller, was misspelled Adolph Hitler. Chicago election officials say there is nothing that can be done at this late date, and even if there was they didn’t give a damn anyway.

Also in Chicago (go figure) First Princess Michelle Obama was in a polling place, electioneering for her hubby and having voters take their pictures with her. When it was pointed out that this was actually illegal, Michelle was naturally excused. The election official who came to her defense, enabled me to skip even thinking about a joke regarding this matter, when he was quoted as saying…and I’m not making this up…”You kind of have to drop the standard for the first lady, right? I mean, she’s pretty well liked and probably doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

If that's what your friends have to say about you...

Several states, including Illinois (where 35 counties just happened to miss the deadline for sending out military ballots) and New York, blamed a “clerical error” when it became known that absentee military ballots could not be mailed until March of next year. “Those fascist baby-killing criminal bastards will get their chance to cast a ballot…someday.” said NYC election official Eileen Left, looking longingly at her Woodstock memorabilia. (I actually got my absentee ballot 2 weeks after the election when stationed overseas.) While it is too difficult to put a soldier's ballot in an envelope, Illinois and other states do somehow find time to hand-deliver ballots to other people "serving the country", as in serving time in prison. The cons don't even have to apply; the ever helpful Chicago political machine brings enough for everybody, probably even some extras, when they come.

In Minnesota, volunteer poll watchers formerly belonging to the Al Franken campaign, were already finding “uncounted” straight ticket Democrat party ballots in hollow logs, under rocks, and even submerged in airtight containers in 9,992 of Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes. “If any non-Democrats win any race, we’ll find more, no problem,” lisped a former Franken campaigner, “Because we're good enough, we're smart enough, and doggone it, people like us!”

In Cincinnati, another city known as a pillar of election integrity, public school children were bussed to polling places and given sample ballots (with only Democrats on them) to learn how to be good citizens and vote.“No Cincinnati Public School personnel engaged in the promotion of candidates or any political party,” CPS attorney Mark Stepaniak noted in a written release. “It was mere coincidence that if the kids voted for the Democrat a bucketful of candy fell out of the voting machine.”

Our good old pals at ACORN, even though they disbanded the organization by that name, are back to their old tricks again, under the clever guise of newly-named organizations but “completely unrelated” community organizer groups such as BURR OAK SEED, RED OAK SEED, SCRUB OAK SEED, BLACK OAK SEED, and JUST PLAIN NUTS. When it was revealed that a precinct with a total population of 3,400 people had already had 7,923,026 Democrat absentee ballots cast, they claimed that allegations of voter fraud were just an evil plot by the Tea Parties, who should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for the racist crime of “Hate Speech” for having the poor taste to point out the irregularities.

While we’re on the subject of ACORN, one of their bogus “completely different” front organizations, Project Vote, is being run by one Amy Busefink. “Busefink and another ACORN employee, Christopher Edwards, were charged with by the state of Nevada with ‘26 felony counts of voter fraud and 13 of providing unlawful extra compensation to those registering voters.’…the trial of Busefink and ACORN is set to begin November 26.” What’s ridiculous, is that I didn’t even have to embellish that statement.

Nevada voters are claiming that the new electronic voting machines, shaped like slot machines, ring up three “Harry Reid” votes every time the lever is pulled. Some elderly voters also complained that when they tried to push the button for any candidate other than Harry Reid on touch-screens, other new voting machines electrocuted them with 7,000 volts. State election officials stated that perhaps the machines need to be “recalibrated” or that voters are “just too friggin’ stupid” to use a touch screen.

One Clark County official, who just happened to be a lifelong registered Democrat, denied any irregularities. “’In fact, although over 160,000 people have voted early in Clark County, those allegations that have been made have gone directly to the media as opposed to election board officers,’ he said.” At which point he gestured towards the "board officers", two hulking men named Vito and Rocko, who had volunteered to come up from the Las Vegas casino they usually work at to, “Make sures dey ain't no problems, if ya knows what I mean."

Harry Reid finds a new campaign manager.

"I need a man who has powerful friends. I need a million dollars in cash. I need, Don Corleone, all of those politicians that you carry around in your pocket, like so many nickels and dimes."

Houston, we also have a problem. Houston Democrat Shiela Jackson-Lee, the rocket scientist who asked NASA if the Mars Rover could see the flag Neil Armstrong planted on the red planet (I’m not even making that one up) was also glad-handing folks and electioneering those standing in lines at their polling place. When caught with her hand in the cookie jar by poll watchers, Lee claimed that she was only asking for help from local intellectuals to, “help me stack up the big brightly colored boxes so I can finally reach that yummy banana.”

Jackson, accompanied by three brawny SEIU “Union Reps” in purple T-shirts who kept slapping the palms of their hands with large wooden clubs marked “Compliments of the New Black Panther Party…Get out of Jail Free.”, also said she was just watching out for voter intimidation from the evil, racist Tea Baggers.

Completely neutral and unbiased Obama Department of Justice Obergruppenfuhrer Eric “Heinrich” Holder said that any allegations of irregular poll watching practices were very serious and would be investigated by numerous incompetent Federal law enforcement agencies and punished to the fullest possible extent of the law. “For instance, in Philadelphia we have already charged one election volunteer associated with the Tea Parties with ten counts of Hate Crimes for splattering ‘racist’ blood from his skull onto several Black Panther night sticks.”

All over the country, especially in big city Liberal strongholds like San Francisco and Seattle, some municipalities are implementing programs to “Get out the Illegal Alien Vote”. In some places, illegals are actually going door to door campaigning, proudly admitting that they’re illegals. Interviewed on CBS News by Katie Couric, one illegal sobbed that it was getting hard to support herself and 27 illegal family members on just her anchor baby’s government support and demanded more benefits for non-citizens from tax-paying citizens. Unfortunately, she spoke in Spanish so that Katie’s remaining 32 viewers didn’t understand it anyway.

“I see nothing wrong with letting non-citizens vote,” said the perky but ever objective Katie. “Or with unregistered voters casting multiple votes. Or even with domestic animals, including goldfish, voting…as long as they vote for the right people, and not those filthy Tea Party Nazis.”

Hold onto your hats, boys and girls. It’s gonna be quite a ride. The hell of it is, this is just the tip of the iceberg.