FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU “BUSH STOLE THE ELECTION!”

Yes indoodly doo boys and girls. It’s that time of year, election time. I’m supposed to remind you to go out and vote in the mid-terms because YOUR VOTE COUNTS. Actually, if voting could actually change the government, it would be illegal. But you should go out and vote anyway, even if it is generally tilting at windmills. YOUR VOTE COUNTS, but some votes count more than others, and some voters vote more than others.

The scene of a recent massive Democrat voter registration drive in Chicago.

We’re all familiar with the Chicago political machine, where the slogan has always been, “Vote early and vote often.” Just the deceased and fictional voters will probably be enough to put the Democrats over the top. But just in case, actual ballots also contain ”mistakes” to point actual voters in the right, or rather left, direction.

"The last name of Green Party gubernatorial candidate Rich Whitney is misspelled as "Whitey" on electronic-voting machines in nearly two dozen wards -- about half in predominantly African-American areas -- and election officials said Wednesday the problem cannot be corrected by Election Day.

At the municipal and county level other non Democrat candidates just happened to have their names misspelled, too. For instance, the GOP candidate for Dog catcher, William Kieger’s name appeared on the ballots as William KKKieger and Third Party candidate for Sewer Chief, Adam Hiller, was misspelled Adolph Hitler. Chicago election officials say there is nothing that can be done at this late date, and even if there was they didn’t give a damn anyway.

Also in Chicago (go figure) First Princess Michelle Obama was in a polling place, electioneering for her hubby and having voters take their pictures with her. When it was pointed out that this was actually illegal, Michelle was naturally excused. The election official who came to her defense, enabled me to skip even thinking about a joke regarding this matter, when he was quoted as saying…and I’m not making this up…”You kind of have to drop the standard for the first lady, right? I mean, she’s pretty well liked and probably doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

If that's what your friends have to say about you...

Several states, including Illinois (where 35 counties just happened to miss the deadline for sending out military ballots) and New York, blamed a “clerical error” when it became known that absentee military ballots could not be mailed until March of next year. “Those fascist baby-killing criminal bastards will get their chance to cast a ballot…someday.” said NYC election official Eileen Left, looking longingly at her Woodstock memorabilia. (I actually got my absentee ballot 2 weeks after the election when stationed overseas.) While it is too difficult to put a soldier's ballot in an envelope, Illinois and other states do somehow find time to hand-deliver ballots to other people "serving the country", as in serving time in prison. The cons don't even have to apply; the ever helpful Chicago political machine brings enough for everybody, probably even some extras, when they come.

In Minnesota, volunteer poll watchers formerly belonging to the Al Franken campaign, were already finding “uncounted” straight ticket Democrat party ballots in hollow logs, under rocks, and even submerged in airtight containers in 9,992 of Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes. “If any non-Democrats win any race, we’ll find more, no problem,” lisped a former Franken campaigner, “Because we're good enough, we're smart enough, and doggone it, people like us!”

In Cincinnati, another city known as a pillar of election integrity, public school children were bussed to polling places and given sample ballots (with only Democrats on them) to learn how to be good citizens and vote.“No Cincinnati Public School personnel engaged in the promotion of candidates or any political party,” CPS attorney Mark Stepaniak noted in a written release. “It was mere coincidence that if the kids voted for the Democrat a bucketful of candy fell out of the voting machine.”

Our good old pals at ACORN, even though they disbanded the organization by that name, are back to their old tricks again, under the clever guise of newly-named organizations but “completely unrelated” community organizer groups such as BURR OAK SEED, RED OAK SEED, SCRUB OAK SEED, BLACK OAK SEED, and JUST PLAIN NUTS. When it was revealed that a precinct with a total population of 3,400 people had already had 7,923,026 Democrat absentee ballots cast, they claimed that allegations of voter fraud were just an evil plot by the Tea Parties, who should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for the racist crime of “Hate Speech” for having the poor taste to point out the irregularities.

While we’re on the subject of ACORN, one of their bogus “completely different” front organizations, Project Vote, is being run by one Amy Busefink. “Busefink and another ACORN employee, Christopher Edwards, were charged with by the state of Nevada with ‘26 felony counts of voter fraud and 13 of providing unlawful extra compensation to those registering voters.’…the trial of Busefink and ACORN is set to begin November 26.” What’s ridiculous, is that I didn’t even have to embellish that statement.

Nevada voters are claiming that the new electronic voting machines, shaped like slot machines, ring up three “Harry Reid” votes every time the lever is pulled. Some elderly voters also complained that when they tried to push the button for any candidate other than Harry Reid on touch-screens, other new voting machines electrocuted them with 7,000 volts. State election officials stated that perhaps the machines need to be “recalibrated” or that voters are “just too friggin’ stupid” to use a touch screen.

One Clark County official, who just happened to be a lifelong registered Democrat, denied any irregularities. “’In fact, although over 160,000 people have voted early in Clark County, those allegations that have been made have gone directly to the media as opposed to election board officers,’ he said.” At which point he gestured towards the "board officers", two hulking men named Vito and Rocko, who had volunteered to come up from the Las Vegas casino they usually work at to, “Make sures dey ain't no problems, if ya knows what I mean."

Harry Reid finds a new campaign manager.

"I need a man who has powerful friends. I need a million dollars in cash. I need, Don Corleone, all of those politicians that you carry around in your pocket, like so many nickels and dimes."

Houston, we also have a problem. Houston Democrat Shiela Jackson-Lee, the rocket scientist who asked NASA if the Mars Rover could see the flag Neil Armstrong planted on the red planet (I’m not even making that one up) was also glad-handing folks and electioneering those standing in lines at their polling place. When caught with her hand in the cookie jar by poll watchers, Lee claimed that she was only asking for help from local intellectuals to, “help me stack up the big brightly colored boxes so I can finally reach that yummy banana.”

Jackson, accompanied by three brawny SEIU “Union Reps” in purple T-shirts who kept slapping the palms of their hands with large wooden clubs marked “Compliments of the New Black Panther Party…Get out of Jail Free.”, also said she was just watching out for voter intimidation from the evil, racist Tea Baggers.

Completely neutral and unbiased Obama Department of Justice Obergruppenfuhrer Eric “Heinrich” Holder said that any allegations of irregular poll watching practices were very serious and would be investigated by numerous incompetent Federal law enforcement agencies and punished to the fullest possible extent of the law. “For instance, in Philadelphia we have already charged one election volunteer associated with the Tea Parties with ten counts of Hate Crimes for splattering ‘racist’ blood from his skull onto several Black Panther night sticks.”

All over the country, especially in big city Liberal strongholds like San Francisco and Seattle, some municipalities are implementing programs to “Get out the Illegal Alien Vote”. In some places, illegals are actually going door to door campaigning, proudly admitting that they’re illegals. Interviewed on CBS News by Katie Couric, one illegal sobbed that it was getting hard to support herself and 27 illegal family members on just her anchor baby’s government support and demanded more benefits for non-citizens from tax-paying citizens. Unfortunately, she spoke in Spanish so that Katie’s remaining 32 viewers didn’t understand it anyway.

“I see nothing wrong with letting non-citizens vote,” said the perky but ever objective Katie. “Or with unregistered voters casting multiple votes. Or even with domestic animals, including goldfish, voting…as long as they vote for the right people, and not those filthy Tea Party Nazis.”

Hold onto your hats, boys and girls. It’s gonna be quite a ride. The hell of it is, this is just the tip of the iceberg.