Saturday, April 28, 2012

TEST YOUR FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT KNOWLEDGE


Well boys and girls, it would appear that by some governmental error the DOJ thinks I'm still a Junior Pine Cone Pig, so I received this notice in my email. I thought I would pass on this message from "behind enemy lines" so you can see what the Federal Alphabet Soup Agencies are up to.


From the Office of Eric Heinrich Holder, the Big Cheese


Achtung!

Although we have come a long way in this country under the progressive and enlightened governance of our Dear Leader Barack, we still have a long way to go to bring justice to this nation. The latest scandal involving Secret Service personnel caught engaging in activities which should be reserved for former Washington, D.C. mayors highlights the many obstacles we have to face in our quest for equality and social justice. 

My moles have made me aware of many other dangerous hurdles we at fed.gov must clear...non-Union workers, profiling, an insufficient number of security screeners, and a lack of respect for our Muslim employees just because they are members of Al Qaeda and keep planting bombs in the Edward R. Murrow Building.

To root out these divisive and perilous malcontents, my flunkies have devised this simple test to determine if you are a good Federal employee or a dangerous Right-wing Extremist Wacko Nutjob and a threat to the very lifeblood of our country. Remember, you must grade each others papers so that the results may be reported to the proper authorities.

Good luck on your test.

Which of the following statements is Hate-Speech?

 A."Remember Eric [Cantor]...our judgment time, the final Yom Kippur has been given. You are a liar, you're a Lucifer, you're a pig, a greedy f**king pig, you're an abomination, you receive my bullets in...your office, remember they will be placed in your heads. You and your children are Lucifer's abominations.

B:."The evaporation of four million who believe in this crap[Christianity] would leave this world a better place."

C:"There is a sound case to be made for dropping a tactical nuclear weapon on the Cuban section of Miami. The move would be applauded heartily by most Americans.

D:“It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She's having so much sex she can't afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex."
 
Which of the following statements should be prosecuted as a Terroristic Threat?

A:      “A war is coming. At stake: our lives, the planet, freedom, living. The government, the corporations, and the extreme right are prepared to coalesce into an Axis of Evil. Are you going to fight back? Will you do whatever it takes, including taking up arms?”

B:      “And we shouldn’t talk to them, try to persuade them. We should burn them down. We should go after them with pitchforks, knives, guns, clubs we find, mace—anything…”

C:      "I'm proud to be here with people who understand that it's more than just sending an email to get you going. Every once and awhile you need to get out on the streets and get a little bloody when necessary."

D:      I believe in my right to keep and bear arms.”

Which of the following statements is Racist?

A:                          “We gotta do it, we have to cross the Red Sea, not some sea in Middle East part of the world, we’re talking about some blood, go through some blood, some battles. There are those who wish they could stand in this hour to see the destruction of the devil’s world, not some dud under the ground with a pitchfork, I’m talking about blonde-haired, blue-eyed sometimes brown-eyes Caucasion.”

B:                          “I hate white people! All of them! You want freedom, you gonna have to kill some crackers! You gonna have to kill some of their babies!”

C:                          “The goal of abolishing the White race in on its face so desirable that some may find it hard to believe that it could incur any opposition other than from committed White Supremacists…Keep bashing the dead White males, and the live ones, and the females, too, until the social construct known as the White race is destroyed. Not deconstructed, but destroyed.”

D:                          The zoo has an African lion, the Whitehouse has a lyin’ African.”

Which of the following statements is a call of violence?

 A: “Put the bang right into a cracker’s face…and if you’re going to bang, bang for black power… hang a cracker [unintelligible] . . .if you’re going to bang, bang on the white devil. . . . burying him near the river bank with the right shovel. . . . community revolution in progress…. banging for crackers to go to hell, we don’t need em.”

B:"I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them.

C:“If you want blood (YOU GOT IT) BLOOD on the streets BLOOD on the rocks BLOOD in the gutter, EVERY LAST DROP, YOU WANT BLOOD you got it yes you have!”

D:“No second term for that Socialist idiot Obama.”

Which of the following is NOT a legitimate form of civil discourse?

 A:
 
 B:

 C:

 
D:



If you answered anything except "D" for every question, you are a vile, violent homophobic racist Right-wing Hate-Monger. Clean out your desk and report immediately to your nearest Re-Education Officer to get your mind right. Remember, you are only allowed one piece of luggage on the train.

I KNOW you will all join me next week to inaugurate my new program "The Daily Hate."

Together, we can make a difference! Or else!

Sincerely,


Obergruppenfuhrer Herr Eric Heinrich Holder

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

GOOD NEWS FOR A CHANGE






We all know that the Obama Regime has announced that we will have, “Peace in our time!”. Ooops, no wait, he declared, “The War on Terror is over!”

Yea!!! That should mean that we can dismantle the Patriot Act, DHS, TSA, et al. Right?

JIM AND BAWB TO PURCHASE NEW HOME INSURANCE

Writing for Forbes Magazine, climate change alarmist Steve Zwick calls for skeptics of man-made global warming to be tracked, hunted down and have their homes burned to the ground, yet another shocking illustration of how eco-fascism is rife within the environmentalist lobby.

Wow. The idiots must be getting desperate. Won’t all this arson increase global whining?

SHIPS FLEE SINKING RAT
 

Contributions to Obama and the Democratic National Committee combined were down 30 percent last month compared with January four years ago.

On the plus side for Obongo, he had received the coveted Mikhail Gorbachev endorsement. Really. Let's hope it does him as much good as that Mohammar Khadafy endorsement in '08.

Fidel Castro and Robert "Bob" Mugabe are also expected to endorse the Messiah, Mugabe reportedly saying, "Obama can do for America what I did for Zimbabwe." Obama will also receive posthumous endorsements (and multiple votes) from Vladimir Lenin, Karl Marx, and Benito Mussolini.

GUNS, OUR FAVORITE SUBJECT

USA --(Ammoland.com)- 86,000 U.S.-made M1 Garand rifles are scheduled for auction and may possibly be coming back to the United States from the Republic of Korea (South Korea) to be sold to Americans (June 25).

Funny how the Regime reversed itself on the rifles being verbotten during an election year. M1 carbines are still not allowed for importation as they take evil assault-rifle high-capacity mags.

Meanwhile, over at Bank of Amigo, famous for letting illegals send their cash back to Mehico and recipient of $20 billion taxpayer dollars for the “too big to fail” bail-out, decided to give the boot to 12-year customer McMillan Firearms, famous for their .50-cal sniper rifles used by military units and law enforcement agencies around the globe.

A spokesman responded, “Bank of Amigo, lick my sack.”

NBC News, famous for fabricating news and offering Party Line editorials in lieu of journalism, launched one of their “researched by chimps and Leftists” attacks on Remington Arms Company. Remington also supplies sniper rifles to the US military and law enforcement agencies in addition to providing sporting arms to . Apparently, NBC believes America hasn’t lost enough jobs so they’re attacking the gun industry with fake “experts” and their usual assorted line of bullshit.

NBC continues to attack Remington and the firearms industry through sensational and factually inaccurate reporting. On April 11, 2012, Brian Williams again demonstrated NBC’s anti-gun agenda with the claim that the Model 870, Model 1100 and other Remington firearms have a design flaw. That claim is demonstrably false and Remington stands fully behind the safety and reliability of the most popular shotguns in the world.

It wasn’t enough for NBC to attack over 20 million Remington firearms; they also called the Second Amendment into question by suggesting that there is a need for increased government regulation of firearms

A spokesman responded, “NBC, lick my sack.”



DO YOU HAVE FAITH, BROTHER?

So it should come as no surprise that more and more Americans are taking the red pill and showing an ever-increasing distrust and lack of faith in government and media.

ABC News political analysts Matthew Dowd said the recent scandals involving the Secret Service and GSA reflect a declining trust in American institutions at all levels.

"The American public has lost faith in every single institution in this country...They have lost faith in sporting institutions in this country because of many different scandals. They've lost faith in the government. They've lost faith in both political parties. They've lost faith in the media."

Gee, who'da thunk?

The Pew Research Center for the People & the Press has been tracking views of press performance since 1985. In September 2011, Pew found that negative opinions about the performance of news organizations now match or surpass all-time highs.

In the poll, 66 percent of those surveyed stated news stories often are inaccurate and 77 percent think that news organizations tend to favor one side over the other. 80 percent of those surveyed said news organizations are often influenced by powerful people and organizations.

Not only do 89 percent of Americans say they distrust government to do the right thing, but 74 percent say the country is on the wrong track and 84 percent disapprove of Congress — warnings for Democrats and Republicans alike.

Of course, an NBC/NY Times poll of eight members of the DNC and two homeless people claims the Obama Regime still enjoys a whopping 80% approval rating.


Friday, April 06, 2012

ATTEN-HUT!

A friend sent me this and it was just too good not to share.



American Presidents in Uniform since WWII.

Sunday, April 01, 2012

A Proclamation From The Governor: LOL Day

Office of the Governor of Iowa
Terry Branstad

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

With unprecedented enthusiasm, Iowans have embraced our challenge to become the healthiest state in the nation by 2016. Since it is said that "laughter is the best medicine," we have declared Monday, April 2, as LOL Day in Iowa.

Laughing is one of the best ways to de-stress, and keeping stress to a minimum is an important part of the well-being puzzle. Even if your diet is chock full of grains, fruits and veggies and you exercise every day, if the emotional health piece of the jigsaw is missing, your overall health could be suffering.  You can read more about our state's "rib-tickling" initiative for wellness at the official website iowahealthieststate.com.

In order to aid in this effort, on this day, April 2, Iowa State Troopers will be trading in their usual serious "Smokey the Bear" hats for hilarious multi-colored Afro wigs and bulbous red noses.  Roving teams of these Troopers will be patrolling the streets of Iowa.  Anyone who is caught NOT laughing, chortling, chuckling, giggling, guffawing, snickering, tittering, or in some way exerting their lungs in a mirthful manner will be f*cking shot.

Warmest Regards,

Iowa Governor "Taxin' Terry" Branstad
&
Lt. Governor Terry's Moustache