THE SOLUTION TO WIKILEAKS

Gov Mike Huckabee said...
"If we want to keep our nation's secrets 'SECRET' store them where
President Obama stores his college transcripts and birth certificate."

RINOS TO THE RESCUE?

Thanks to Iowahawk, we have a brilliant analysis of what the future holds with the RINOs riding to our rescue on the health care bill. Is this guy psychic or what?


Re-publicans

January: REVOLT!

February: REJECT!

March: REPEAL!!

Late March: REPEAL... and Replace!

April: Revamp.

May: Revise!

June: Rigorous Review!

July: Revisit?

August: Revise... but not before a reasonable review!

September: Review, Renovate and Renew!

October: Retain and reinforce!

November: RE-ELECT! (Please?)

December: heh. Retards.

Ben's Top 10 Suggested Slogans For The Republicans' 2010 "Comeback" Campaign

10.) Vote Republican: We screwed things up less recently than the Dems!
9.) Why vote for "tax and spend" Democrats when you could vote for "borrow and spend" Republicans?
8.) Four words: War resolution against Uruguay!
7.) We stand AGAINST increased spending and big government solutions when the opposing party proposes them... usually.
6.) Vote G.O.P- Our faith in free markets is like the Rio Grande: A mile wide, but an inch deep.
5.) We miss listening to your phone calls!
4.) Please! McCain needs to feel liked!
3.) Medicare drug plans and "bridges-to-nowhere" don't look so wasteful now, do they smarty-pants?
2.) We'll drive the country off a cliff in a lower gear than the Democrats.
And the Number One suggested slogan for the Republicans' 2010 "comeback" campaign is...
Up to you! Post your suggestions below.

REPUBLICAN PLANS FOR THEIR "SWEEPING COMEBACK" IN 2010

Well, it’s been awhile since I beat up on the moron RNC neo-cons, aka “Socialist Party B” on your ballot. A friend of mine recently pointed out that the GOP is definitely not the party of “small government” anymore (not that they’ve even faked it since Reagan). The Republicrats want a huge, bloated, rich, powerful, omnipotent Federal government every bit as much as the Democrats do; they just want to be in charge of it themselves. With widespread dissatisfaction growing against the Democrats and their disastrous fiscal policies, the GOP smells what they call a sweeping comeback in 2010. We’d like to find out how they plan to make that “comeback” happen.

So, in an exclusive interview, Benandbawbsblog talks to Republican National Committee Chief Assistant Flunky Vichy Milquetoast.

BBB: Welcome, Mr. Milquetoast.

VM: (Yawning). Come, come peasant. Let’s get this over with. I am a busy and important man.

BBB: OK, we’ll jump right in. We noticed that in the upcoming Missbraskasaw 2010 mid-term Congressional race, the RNC has thrown its full weight and influence behind the nomination of Judas Kolectiv over staunch conservative former governor Em Tegritty. This has caused quite a stir amongst the conservative base in Missbraskasaw.

VM: Kolectiv is a staunch conservative. The RNC says so. Who are you proletariat scum to question us?

BBB: Well, it’s hard to miss the fact that Kolectiv’s voting record and public stances supported the Stimulus Plan, the Patriot Act, abortion, massive tax increases, massive spending increases, nationalization of several key industries, the Baucus Healthcare “reform” bill, government-run pre-schools, Cap-and-Tax, the Kyoto Protocol, amnesty for illegals…

VM: (Sniffing) The NRA gave him a C-Minus. Now that’s conservative! Peon.

BBB: The GOA gave him an F-Minus. The Missbraskasaw Conservative Coalition rated him “present” on a scale of one to ten. Citizens Against Government Waste voted him “Swine of the Year”. The…

VM: (Slamming fist on table) Silence! He has an [R] behind his name on the ballot. That is enough. (Leaning back) You clodhoppers really must learn to listen to your betters. We are of the Ruling Class. We know the path to success.

BBB: Would that be the same brilliant path you took in the 2008 campaign?

VM: Of course. Simpleton.

BBB: Um, in case you hadn’t noticed, that didn’t work out so well. Huge sections of your base just stayed home on election night. Rush Limbaugh stayed home, for Pete’s sake. Many, many supposedly Republican supporters found the choices you gave them too repulsive to contemplate. You guys got your asses handed to you.

VM: (Huffing again) Dolt! Our plan was brilliant. But that hillbilly scum Palin pulled us down. This time, we’ll run a true representative of pure Republicanism, someone like Arlen Specter, for Veep, and move the entire party even further left. We have our sage course to the future flawlessly charted out in our Grand Master Plan. I wouldn’t expect you bumpkins in the washed masses to understand Grand Strategy.

BBB: Sounds like you’re alienating your base even further. The Tea Party and Townhall patriots hate your guts every bit as much as they do Dems. The few remaining Republicans among them have already pulled the plug on donations and they plan to either stay home or leave the party outright in droves, seeking some party, any party, that will offer them a candidate with even an ounce of integrity. How can that be a winning strategy?

VM: (Scoffs) Everyone knows a Third Party has no chance to win. Only someone with an [R] behind his name can possibly win. Even you hayseeds want to vote for a winner.

BBB: So, by that reasoning, if the Democrats ran Joseph Stalin, the Republicans ran Adolph Hitler, and the Constitution Party ran Thomas Jefferson, we should vote for Adolph because he “can win”.

VM: Yes, that’s about it. We don’t expect you imbeciles to understand. It’s above you. Just do as you’re told and keep your mouths shut; we don’t want your input. Now, I really must dispense with this “grassroots” interview silliness. I am due to give a speech before the SEIU; they are paying me $50,000 to speak. (Huffs) You small-town buffoons expect me to grant interviews for nothing.

BBB: Oh, we’ve got a little something for you to take home with you.

VM: Well, it’s about time. Say, why are you tearing open that feather pillow? Why do I smell boiling tar?

BBB: Hang on. You’ll know in just a minute.

GOP STILL POS TOO

"For Republicans, the way out of the wilderness in the 2010 midterm elections looks to be paved with healthcare votes."

Although drooling and licking their chops over "The Big Come-Back" in 2010, the Republicans haven't actually changed anything about what got them kicked in the teeth in 2008. The party of Big Government thinks they can weasel their way back in power by running against the party of Bigger Government.

Absolutely nothing, nada, zero, zilch about returning to anything even remotely resembling conservatism, although a handful of Republican politicians are making mumbled half-hearted insincere noises about it in hopes of not getting spanked quite so bad this go-round. I think GOP Cheerleader Yawn Hannity actually believes them, but he's about the only Charlie Brown conservative left who will still let the RNC Lucy hold the football for him.

Newt and the Class of '94 at least went to Washington promising actual changes that might have actually done some small amount of good somewhere...balanced budgets, welfare reform, tort reform, cutting government regulations and spending, tax cuts, even (gasp!) term limits. Of course, the liberal controlled Ministry of Truth ripped into the Contract With America like rabid jackals and it took the Freshman Class of '94 all of about two weeks to become the thing they supposedly despised, aka Big Government Tax-and-Spend Political Whores, just like everyone else in Sodom on Potomac. At least they went through the motions and kind-of sort-of tried to do something.

This latest bunch, possibly to become the Dunces of 2010, isn't even pretending to be about changing anything. They're showing their true colors in that they just want the power back in their hands; they sure don't want that power to decrease or go away. You'll find no Mr. Smith Goes to Washington here, that's for sure.

Even if the GOP sweeps the 2010 race by a landslide, no matter what odious, criminal, disastrous, un-Constitutional bills get passed in the meantime you can bet your sweet patootie they sure as heck won't REPEAL a single one of them. Just like the Dems and Libs thought the Patriot Act was the most heinous, evil, horrible thing to ever rear it's ugly head, they have now decided it's just fine 'n' dandy and even in need of extending and expanding now that their despot has his grubby mits on it. Just like both parties think a line-item veto is desperately needed when their guy is in the Whitehouse, but viciously oppose it when the other guy is in there.

In short, you can't trust any of them. I personally think the time is ripe for a third party to rise to prominence, but I don't see it realistically happening. Both the Dems and the GOP have made darn sure over the past few decades, with ballot access laws and election "reforms", that nobody else can come play in their political yard. Likewise, the State-run Propaganda Ministry has a large vested interest in maintaining a Two-Party Oligarchy that they have so much influence over as well.

So, as always, we will be faced with a tough choice between feces and dung come election time. Of course, with rampant run-away voter fraud and a media with considerably less integrity than intestinal parasites, it's not like your vote really matters anymore anyway. Note to self: Keep diggin' and buy more ammo.

THE MAN OF STEELE

THE RNC, ENCOURAGED BY THE SUCCESS OF ITS MOVE-TO-THE-LEFT STRATEGY IN '08, EXPANDS THE DOCTRINE TO BE "MORE INCLUSIVE".