Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Here at Benandbawb’sblog we managed to track down and corner an average American Sheeple in his native habitat, the shopping mall. In the interest of taking the pulse of the country, we conducted a short interview to see what the man in the street is thinking. Our conclusion is that he isn’t.

BBB: The whole point of this blog has been to illustrate the evils of the 2-Party Oligarchy. Basically, both the Republicans and the Democrats are nothing more than different rooms in the same whorehouse.

S: My side good! Other side baaaaaad!

BBB: But both sides have been ridden with scandals, dirty deals, broken campaign promises, shady practices and pork projects. Both sides lie like a rug.

S: My side tell truth always. Other side lie! Baaaaaaad!

BBB: It would seem you are playing right into the hands of the power mongers. That’s right where they want us. Have you ever considered a Third Party to break the deadlock of corruption and give us a chance at real change?

S: (Pause for long blank stare): Um, throwing vote away! Cannot be on winner’s side! Man on TV say so.

BBB: The programming seems to be working quite well. Um, OK. Shall we address some other issues. One of the few mandates actually given to the Federal Government by the Constitution is to secure our borders. Instead, they let in millions of illegal aliens and do very little to stop them or to punish those who employ them illegally.

S: They are just here to do the jobs Americans can’t or won’t do. Essential to American economy. Man on TV say so.

BBB: According to the LA Times, only 2% of illegals are picking crops while 29% are on welfare. Forty percent of all workers in LA County are illegals getting paid cash under the table and contribute zero taxes. Over two thirds of the births in that county are illegals on Medi-Cal, paid for by the taxpayers. Ninety five percent of murder warrants in LA are for illegals, 75% of the people on the most-wanted list are illegals, and half of the gang members are from south of the border. The cost of illegal immigration to the U.S. taxpayer by 1997 (Professor Donald Huddle, Rice University) was $70 billion.

S: Racist! Xenophobe! Bigot! Nazi!

BBB: Er, yeah. How about education then? Judged against scores of students from other industrialized nations, American students do very poorly indeed. Our colleges have begun teaching what used to be high school level subjects. Some people point out that the purpose of the American educational system is more to produce good worker drones who do not question authority, than to educate or teach independent thinking and critical reasoning.

S: Professor spout Party Line. Koko repeat Party Line back. Koko get banana. Mmmmm, banana goooood.

BBB: So you found your university education useful, then?

S: Me have Liberal Arts Degree, $80,000 in student loans, and JOB! You want fries with that?

BBB: Uh, how about current events? What item in today’s news do you find to be of the most concern?

S: Brad and Angelina fighting over living room décor! How terrible! Boo-hoo! Such tragedy! Woman on TV say so.

BBB: On the subject of economics…..


BBB: OK, never mind economics. The Second Amendment is near and dear to us here at BBB. What do you say to the fact that when England and Australia enacted draconian gun control laws, their violent crime rates skyrocketed? Or how about Washington, D.C. having the strictest gun control laws, yet the highest crime rates in the country? Conversely, where states have enabled ordinary citizens to carry concealed weapons, crime rates drop.

S: Guns baaaaaad! Guns hurt people! Guns not needed in modern age! Man on TV say so!

BBB: If they are unnecessary, how come “Men on TV” like celebrities and politicians have swarms of armed bodyguards?

S: (Jaw goes slack, eyes glaze over, emits streamer of drool.)

BBB: Maybe we’ll get back to that later. The Middle East is a hotbed of crisis and has been for years. We’ll try to keep this simple. Can you name three Middle Eastern countries?

S: Iraq. (Long pause). Europe. (Very long pause, triumphantly) Guantanamo!

BBB: Super. How about neutral politics, no parties involved. What do you see as the role of government in our country?

S: Government gooood. Government my friend. Government give treats. Government take care of me and all my earthly needs from cradle to grave. Goooood. Woman on TV say so.

BBB: Where do you suppose all that money comes from to take care of you from womb to the tomb?

S: Simple. Government take from you, give to me. Goooood. Man on TV say so.

BBB: How about security issues, like terrorism? What do you think of the Patriot Act and law enforcement abuses and judges who have to answer to no authority giving government more and unlimited power to skate around all Constitutional safeguards and restraints in place to keep them in check?

S: Government good! Government protect me from everything. I not worry. They look out for me. Government always know best. They not abuse power. Man on TV say so.

BBB: So the likes of Hitler’s Nazi Germany murdering 21 million civilians, Stalin’s Soviet Union killing 20 million citizens, Mao’s sixty million…..

S: Stop talk! Must go! New episode of Survivor on tonight! Must see TV. Man on TV say so.

BBB: (Heavy sigh.) Bye-bye. Enjoy the Kool-Aid!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can't decide whether the Sheeple's accent and phrasing sound more like Borat or the Cookie Monster.