WHAT OUR GOVERNMENT DOES WELL

Let's ignore for the moment the fact that our beloved Federal government does mostly what it has no Constitutional mandate to do and that it has become the largest union employer in these United States, something which would make the Founding Fathers grab their swords and flintlocks. Of all the things it does do, whether it even should, what does it really do well, i.e. effectively, efficiently, inexpensively, and on time?

NATIONAL DEFENSE: You'd think from hawks like us, they would at least receive high ratings here. Nope. Primarily because we have served, we know how the system (dys)funtions. First off, with the most technically advanced military on the face of the earth, we cannot even secure our own borders. Second, at the heart of things, the military is just another top-heavy bloated ineffecient bureaucracy that requires about 20 "support" people for every rifleman it can put boots on the ground. Even in WWII, Winston Churchill ruefully noted, "Your military peacock is mostly tail." And, in every major war this country has been involved in, the "professionals" usually mess it up from the beginning and we have to mobilize the good old citizen-soldier "amatuers" to come clean up the mess.

FOREIGN POLICY: Very poor marks. We are becoming despised throughout the world for our constant meddling in everyone else's affairs. We have traditionally supported the most hienous of dictators as long as they were "our" dictators. We shovel billions into numerous countries that hate our guts, as long as they promise to "be good". Just like Hitler did at Munich. I believe it was Anwar Sadat who made a comment along the lines that he had spent years trying to figure out the subtle cunning Byzantine strategy of America's foreign policy before he finally realized it was simply stupidity.

MANAGING NATURAL RESOURCES: Hahahahahaha!. I work in that field. When 85% of an agency's budget stays in D.C., where there isn't a single National Forest, that money is not being spent wisely, efficiently, or usefully. Next.

MANAGING MONEY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Our government has literally bankrupted the entire country. If the National Debt chips were called in all at once, every family in America would have to cough up something like $680,000 to cover our politicians' screw-ups. None of us can write checks on money we don't have without facing jail time; our "leaders" on the Hill can do it to their black hearts' content on or off duty.

SOCIAL SECURITY: Whew! Too short of breath for anymore maniacal, bitter laughter. This was nothing more than a Ponzi scam right from the beginning. The money entrusted to the government has long since been "borrowed" and pissed away. They couldn't have made good on their promises even if they hadn't been raiding the cookie jar. The average person would have seen more return on their retirement funds from investing in baseball cards.

WELFARE: We've had a War on Poverty since the Johnson Administration, and it's been an abysmal failure. Where are all the politicans crying, "Pull out! It's a war we can't win!" Again, part of the reason is that 90 cents out of every single dollar goes just to feed the bureaucracy administering the "war". If political drones and hacks working in government actually SOLVE a problem, then they are out of their jobs, so they simply MANAGE the problem for eternity.

DELIVER THE MAIL: Puh-leeeeeze!

MANAGE HEALTHCARE: As P.J. O'Rorke says, "If you think health care is expensive now, wait until it's free." Socialized medicine is a terrible idea to begin with. Will 90 cents on the buck go to "administration" of the program? If you have ever had the misfortune to go to a VA hospital, you have seen the dark Orwellian world of socialized medicine. You might be better off with a witch doctor and a bag of leaches. If the government ran abortion clinics, there would be a ten-month waiting list.

PROTECT ITS CITIZENS: Again, puh-leeeeze! Even the Supreme Court says that law enforcement has no obligation to protect YOU as a citzen, only "society as a whole." So, when you call 911 and don't get help for two hours, tough. Plus, they're trying to take your guns away so you can't even protect yourself when they are too incompetent to. A whole alphabet soup of Federal bureaucracies had all the pieces to the 9-11 puzzle before it happened, but they were too busy knitting diversity quilts and worshipping political correctness and trying to catch Idaho hillbillies in sting operations involving shotgun barrels 1/4-inch under an arbitrary length limit to put it all together and act on it. Bush's solution? Create an even bigger, more complex and compartmentalized super bureaucracy to fight for turf with the already-existing bureaucracies.

RUN A COURT SYSTEM: I keep reading stories about how all across the country, they can't get people for jury duty. I personally think it's because we the people are completely losing faith in our pathetic court system. Let's face it, the LAST thing that will ever come out of official court proceedings is anything resembling the truth. This is not a rant against unscrupulous defense lawyers, either. As Scooter Libby and the Duke Rape Case prove, prosecutors, especially Federal ones, are ready, willing and able to manufacture "evidence", suppress real evidence, and even create "crimes". Our judges have wayyyyy too much power to rule on subjects that they have less knowledge of than I have about interstellar faster-than-light space travel. Plus, by now, what with all the new "rights" the courts keep finding in pustules popping out of our "living Constitution", cons in prison and foreign terrorists have more rights than the average citizen on the street.

LEGISLATE MORALITY: First off, this really isn't the government's job. Secondly, the politicians need to have at least a tiny spark of some morality of their own before they start casting stones. Thirdly, their efforts seem to center on destroying the Judeo-Christian traditional family unit, the building block of Western Civilization. In places like Filthadelphia (William Penn is spinning in his grave) it has become a prosecutable "hate crime" the quote Scripture from the Holy Bible.

Which leaves us with....what? What does our government do well these days? Basically, all I can give them high marks for is turning huge amounts of money into fecal material. It's kind of like feedings $20 bills to a goat.

Is there a solution? Yup. It's called RON PAUL 2008!!!!