NOW IT'S THE PICNIC POLICE

ACHTUNG! VERE ARE YOUR PICNIC PAPERS?!?!

As if the Cow Cops and Goat Gestapo weren't bad enough, now we have the Picnic Police. If anyone still thinks the government is not insanely out of control raise your hand. You, the Monsanto guy, you don't count.

Authorities Raid Picnic in Nevada--Force Chef to Pour Bleach on Good Food.

Once State authoritarians learned that the farm was hosting a picnic without their permission, they descended like flies upon a dying carcass. The authoritarians demanded the farm purchase permission from them to host the event or face an enormous fine; which the farm agreed to do. But clearly, this just wasn’t good enough for the authoritarians.

After purchasing permission to host the event from the Nevada Health District, the farm was told that the permit would be delivered by a health inspector on the day of the event. So the farm went about preparing for the event as it normally would, fully expecting to be issued a permit on the day of the picnic. Well it turns out that Mary G. Oakes, the health inspector for the event, didn’t show up until their guests were arriving!

By the time the inspector showed up, the farm had already begun preparation of the food for the event. This threw the inspector into an authoritarian rage, who began yelling “NOTHING TAKES PLACE UNTIL YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION!” When the farmers asked why they couldn’t continue preparing food as the inspection was underway, the inspector simply stamped her feet and said “because I said so.” – no valid reason was ever provided.