photo: Sodahead
Well, we thought the so-called Patriot Act and the formation
of the Department of Homeland Security were really bad ideas when Bush Jr. and
Company foisted them upon us in the holy name of “sacrificing freedom for
security.”
The existing myriad of
heavily-armed and semi-unaccountable alphabet soup agencies had all the pieces
to the 9/11 puzzle beforehand but the various bloated bureaucracies were all
too busy fighting each other over budgets, power and turf to put the pieces
together. Well, that and the CIA’s employees were too busy sewing mandatory
“Diversity Quilts” to be out gathering intelligence on terrorists.
Shrub’s obvious solution was to
create yet another, even larger and more complex heavy-handed bureaucracy so
that all the various intelligence agencies could gather under one big Police
State umbrella while they squabbled over budgets, power and turf.
Then along came Mr. Socialism
himself, Barack Hussein Obama, who did everything he could to make DHS larger,
more powerful, less accountable and utterly inefficient. He appointed as
Obergruppenfuhrer of the Homeland Security one Janet Incompetano. This
choice apparently stemmed solely from her qualifications of (a) having a vagina
and (b) being a Liberal.
Obergruppenfuhrer Janet jumped
right on board the popular Obama "more-power/less-accountability" bandwagon; she worked hard from
the beginning to make DHS virtually irrelevant against actual terrorists, but a huge
threat to American citizens and their rights. She immediately made the use of the word
“terrorism” verboten in her domain;
we only had to worry about “man-caused disasters”. She even ruled out the use
of the word “terrorist” until she herself needed to use the word to label
American military veterans. Muslims terrorists were pretty much ignored so that
Janet’s Gestapo could concentrate on the perilous threat of “Rightwing
Extremists” which, under DHS guidelines, went from being just veterans to
basically anyone who did not contribute directly to Barack Obama’s campaign. She
was never worried about the open floodgates masquerading as our border with Mexico since
illegally crossing the border is, again according this attorney's own words, “not a
crime per se.” Janet did rake those pesky Canadians over the coals, though, for
letting all those 9/11 hijackers into the US, the total number of whom actually came through Canada being...zero.
Even though she and her ever more
powerful groping TSA minions slaved away, and again I quote directly, “24/7, 364 days a year”
to keep us all safe, that 365th day when things were left wide open
almost proved tragic. Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, cleverly concealing his
dangerous rightwing extremist tendencies under a cloak of radical Islamic
hatred, was not on any no-fly list or security alert even though his own father,
chairman of the First Bank of Nigeria,
had personally warned the United States Embassy about his son’s terrorist
radicalization. He was able to purchase a one-way ticket in Yemen, with cash, booking
a seat specifically over the aircraft’s fuel tank, declaring no baggage, and
casually referring to fellow travelers as, “Imperialist Yankee spawn-of-Satan
Infidel pig-dogs!”, boarded Northwest Flight 253 unsearched and unflagged by security. Likewise, his
transfer in Amsterdam
set off no alarm bells. Umar got to the terrorist one-yard line, attempting to
detonate the bomb he had concealed in his pants as the plane approached Detroit. Fortunately, his
bomb misfired, burning instead of exploding, and civilian airline passengers had
to wrestle him to the ground and detain him themselves.
As the story unfolded, Janet patted
herself on the back and assured the American flying public they were still
perfectly safe because, “The system worked." In fact, she later claimed it worked, "…like clockwork.” Perhaps she meant
that it worked like the clockwork in the fizzled bomb in Umar’s underwear.
Her system “worked” just as well in
Boston, perhaps
not exactly like clockwork, but at least like a “$700 billion security failure.”
Sure, maybe the CIA and Russian Intelligence agencies had warned about the terrorists
in question, maybe they’d traveled freely back and forth from the US to hotbeds
of Muslim terrorism where they disappeared for months at a time, maybe other
members of the family were already on terrorist lists, and maybe they’d even
posted their terrorist fantasies and intentions on facebook, to include
home-made music videos such as I Will Dedicate
My Life to Jihad!
But DHS had bigger fish to fry,
keeping an eye on veterans and Catholics and the like, and just didn’t have
time to look into the matter until after the terrorists actually set off their
bombs. Then DHS was all over it like stink on shit, reacting almost instantaneously
to close the barn door after the horse was gone, locking down the entire city
of Boston in a
Martial Law Police State with 9,000 armed agents. Despite flooding the streets
with armored vehicles and heavily armed men, shutting down all work and
transport in the city, conducting warrantless searches at will, and practicing
safe gun handling techniques not seen since the Three Stooges movies, the
younger terrorist managed to escape. It finally took the sleuthing skills of an
ordinary citizen going out into his backyard to have a smoke (he was later
fined by the EPA and the Health Nazis for that) to find the remaining terrorist
for the jackboots. Once he was located, the well-trained, professional and calm
government agents (who are the only people responsible enough to keep and bear
arms) managed to engage in a two-hour gun battle with the terrorist and expend
over 200 rounds before discovering that the no one was actually shooting back
and that the 19-year-old jihadist was himself unarmed.
That latest success being seen as a
career-crowning achievement she could not hope to top, not even by being completely unable to account for more than a million foreigners who have entered the US, Janet decided recently
to step down from her DHS Obergruppenfuhrer position to make room for some new
blood in the administration.
Many breathed a sigh of relief.
Surely, not even Barack Obama could come up with a new Obergruppenfuhrer worse
than Janet. Think again. Being put forth by the Congressional Black Caucus as
the top pick for Obergruppenfuhrer II is none other than Texas Congresscritter
Sheila Jackson Lee. Oh Sheila is, to put a fine point on it, pretty much a
complete moron. This is the woman who doesn’t know the difference between Korea and Vietnam, even when giving a lengthy
speech on the subject, and who, perhaps more alarmingly, doesn’t know the
difference between the Moon and Mars. Mixing up a country or two I can see, but
entire planets?!?!
Oh Sheila is right in line with
Janet when it comes to ferreting out the real Enemy of the State. That enemy
was not Venezuelan Commie Dictator Hugo Chavez, whom she wanted our country to
sell F-16s to. It was not rogue state terrorism-sponsor Syrian President Bashar
Assad, whom the Congresscritter invited to come speak in Texas. It certainly wasn’t Assistant
Attorney General Tom Perez when he ran the DOJ’s Civil Rights Division which, “...perversely
abused the civil rights of Americans, abused the fiscal trust of the taxpayers
and abused the rule of law.” Among his other accomplishments, Perez could find
no wrong-doing in Black Panthers conducting voter intimidation at the polls,
and was noted for fighting tooth and nail against individual states who sought
voting law reform, to include seeking to purge
the voter rolls of dead people. Not allowing the deceased to vote was a big
violation of their civil rights, according to Perez. Especially in Chicago. It should come
as no surprise that Oh Sheila led the charge to defend this Great American against
the racist Republican slurs besmirching his integrity.
No sirree, Bawb. Sheila knows the
real threat to this country is Whitey and his racism and, as a former slave
herself, she knows about it personally and intimately. “I stand here as a freed
slave because this congress came together!” Sheila’s only apparent strength as
a black leader is her ability to…convincingly,
mind you…accuse anyone or anything of being racist. She has railed against
incipient racism (and I’m not making this up) found in hurricanes, Pepsi
commercials, Secret Service agents, a balanced budget and of course those Tea Party bastards, who are obviously extensions of
the KKK because they wear, “…uh, clothing with a name.” Sheila or Barry going
on about “clothing with a name” strikes me as rather like the pot calling the
kettle black. Ooops, using that old expression is now a racist Hate Crime. I
supposed I can expect a DHS tank through my front wall very soon.
It’s bad enough that Oh Sheila is
dumber than a box of rocks, but we must also add to the volatile mix arrogance,
conceit and narcissism…hey, I guess I am starting to understand what Barry might
see in her. Year after year, Lee has beaten her 534 Congressional colleagues
hands down as “the Worst Boss in Washington”
and also enjoys the highest turn-over rate in staffers of any Congress-critter.
One former staffer said working for her was like serving a tour in Iraq and
another said, “People don’t tell the worst of the stories, because they’re
really unbelievable.” Oh Sheila’s favorite pet nickname for staffers, oft
repeated and at the top of her lungs, is, “You stupid motherf*****!”
A few more direct quotes from the
queen show that while no one else might think much of her, she has more than
enough admiration for herself to go around.
“I’m Congresswoman Sheila Jackson
Lee! Who do you think you are?”
“You don’t understand. I am a
queen, and I demand to be treated like a queen!”
“Don’t you know who I am? I’m
Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee! Where is my seafood meal! I know it was
ordered!”
“What? What did you say to me? Who
are you, the Congresswoman? You haven’t been elected! You don’t set up meetings
with me! I tell you! You know what? You are the most unprofessional person I
have ever met in my life!”
Whoa! Down, Sheila! That last quote
kind of puts us back in the pot calling the kettle black territory again.
Yikes! An armored DHS MRAP carrying
a heavily-armed SWAT team just crushed the front deck on my house. I gotta go! But
I guess we can conclude from this that “the system” will still “work like
clockwork” under a new Obergruppenfuhrer, even one as dumb as Oh Sheila.
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