Friday, May 13, 2011


Obama SEAL doll marks bin Laden killing

Well, OF COURSE I had to rush right out and buy one of these Obama action figures before Chris Matthews snapped them all up. It was a real bargain too, at only $39,999,999.95, or roughly 23 Chinese Yuan. Let me tell you, technology in kids’ toys has sure come a long way since I had my old GI Joe with the cloth clothing, plastic foot locker and realistic M1 Garand rifle. The new high-tech features and accessories of the Obama SEAL doll are just incredible. Below is just a partial list of them.


Spring-loaded back enables him to bow to Muslim world leaders with the push of a button.

Super “Media Leg-Tingler” Ray.

Realistic voice module fitted with “Meaningless Platitude Generator”.

“Chameleon Mode” gives him the power to change himself from Muslim to Christian to Kenyan to Indonesian to American to black to white at will, whenever he can get some personal benefit out of it.

“Limp Wrist” action prevents him from bitterly clinging to his assault rifle.

Deer-in-the-Headlights Eyes glow whenever he’s asked to make an actual decision.

Knee-Jerk Reaction Mode instantly lays the blame on Conservatives and talk radio for any tragedy.

Super Backpack Money Gun enables him to heroically spew billions of dollars at any problem, real or imagined.

Document-Freeze Executive Order Ray.

Pants interchangeable with Michelle Obama doll.

Translator Mode allows him to apologize for the United States in all 57 languages.

Accessories include:


Universal Health Care (batteries and funding not included).

Multiple Voter Registration Cards.

Bill Ayers Sidekick doll with spring-arm bomb-throwing action.

50,000 pairs of special media rose-colored glasses.

Coupon for a free taxpayer-funded abortion.

A pack of Marlboros.


Anonymous said...

Camera - for reenacted poses from speeches and pretend dramatic moments in the “situation room” while pretending to watch Navy SEALS.

Porous Borders Filter – Allows more illegal aliens, I mean democrat voters to cross into the US.

Bernake Side Kick Crony – Complete with money printing press. Profits for off shore bankers and pretend debt for the middle class shleps. Fun for the whole family while filling out food stamp forms.

Internet Kill Switch - to stop those evil naysayers (like Ben and Bawb).

Long Form Birth Certificate – Complete with obvious photo shop alterations.

Change We Can Believe In (and a lot less change in Americans' pockets). But don't worry, the guberment will take care of you.

Extra Shiny Super Narcissus Mirror - if only.

Main Stream Media Knee Pads

Golf Clubs – 60 games this term and counting. Who said being prez was a full time job?

Gun Ban Ray Gun

FEMA Camp Play Set – for those who just can't seem to get along.

Bin Laden Take Down Electronic Storybook – Press the reset button and hear a completely different version. Adult version now includes Bin Laden Arabic porno.

UAV "Drone" complete with Hellfire missiles - for those Pakistani wedding celebrations and other family outings (coming to a neighborhood near you?)

UN Obedience Mode – to bypass and ignore Congressional authorization for those Libya like moments

Bawb said...

Wow. They've already come out with the Mk. II?