ASSAULT JOURNALISM

This may come as a bit of a shock to most of you, but I must confess that I regard the talking heads of the MSM as lower than whale shit when it comes to integrity and considerably less reliable than a crack-smoking 15-year-old mother of three when it comes to reporting what actually happens in our big wide world.

Yes, I know, this is just craaaaaazy right wing kook talk. Why the MSM personalities themselves sniff, snort and sneer about just how completely honest, unbiased and non-partisan they are, so it must be true. To give them credit, before they bestowed outright deity-status upon their personal pick-for-messiah and emperor-for-life Barack Hussein Obama, they sometimes reported more than one side to a story. For instance, a bi-partisan panel of two far-left elitist “journalists”, a far-left elitist tenured college professor, a self-proclaimed elitist left-leaning moderate and a tortoise with “The Right” painted on its shell would discuss and give their personal opinions on an issue. Since the tortoise of course couldn’t talk, they’d just wrap up the show by beating it with shovels. Fortunately, their arms were too thin and feeble to inflict any real damage on the reptile, so it worked out alright. Now, they don’t even bother with the tortoise and if the “moderate” says something which might be somehow construed as remotely less-than-fawning towards Obama, he or she gets the shovels.

Let’s take a quick peek at some nearly identical news items from the past and see how our always objective media handled them differently. You’ll see what I mean.

EVENT: Gas prices near $5 per gallon when Bush was president:

MEDIA RESPONSE: Oh my God! This is it! Doom! Doom I tell you! Families can’t afford to drive to work. Children will starve! Bush and Cheney are sneaking around to gas stations at night and personally jacking up the prices. They siphon fuel out of your car and hide it in their secret stash at Camp David! They are completely and solely responsible for this gas crisis! Those bastards!

EVENT: Gas prices near $5 per gallon while Obama is president.

MEDIA RESPONSE: (distant crickets chirping)

EVENT: I said, “GAS PRICES NEAR $5 PER GALLON UNDER OBAMA!”

MEDIA RESPONSE: Well, there’s absolutely nothing the president can do about these sort of things. He has no influence in the matter whatsoever. That’s not his job and this certainly isn’t his fault.

EVENT: Unemployment hits 6.4% for one month during Bush’s first term.

MEDIA RESPONSE: AAAAIIIIEEEEE!!! Bush and Cheney are personally responsible! Gloom, despair and agony! Armageddon! Meltdown! Collapse! Complete crisis! Millions out of work! Children will starve! Breadlines! The new Great Depression! How can America ever survive?

EVENT: Unemployment peaks at 10% and stays over 8% for pretty much Obama’s entire first term, even after the much ballyhooed “pass my stimulus bill and unemployment will never go over 8%” legislation pisses away $821 billion.

MEDIA RESPONSE: If anything is bad, it’s Bush’s fault! But yeah! All is well! Things are awesome! Life is but a dream! Things couldn’t be better! Recovery! Green shoots! Perceived adjusted forecast numbers better than expected! Made-up statistics paint a rosy picture of future! The Messiah will save us all! Hosanna! Happy-happy, joy-joy!

EVENT: Afghanistan War under Bush. American troops suffer 475 casualties in 8 years.

MEDIA RESPONSE: Frantic and gruesome in-depth coverage multiple times per day of every traumatic injury suffered, or alleged to have been suffered, by anything from the flora of the Hindu Kush to a deployed soldier’s third cousin getting in a car wreck in Enid, Oklahoma. And it’s all Bush’s fault personally.

EVENT: Afghanistan War under Obama. American troops suffer over three times that many casualties (1,560) casualties in 6 years.

MEDIA RESPONSE: We’re still at war in Afghanistan?

EVENT: GOP gaffes…”potatoe”, “nuclear”, “refudiate”.

MEDIA RESPONSE: So intense and prolonged that you knew the story and which person I meant simply from the single words listed above.

EVENT: Obama gaffes:

“…compared to countries like Europe.”

“I’m going to get filibuttered.”

“I’m always worried about using the word victory…”

The Constitution was, “…put to paper nearly 20 centuries ago.”

“I’ve been in 57 states now—I think one left to go.”

“Eau Claire is a big important state.”

“…those states in the middle.”

“I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”

“The Middle East is obviously an issue which has plagued the region for centuries.”

“I’m running to be Commander-of-Chief.”

“Uh, I had an uncle who was one of the—um—who was part of the first American troops to go into Auschwitz and liberate the concentration camps.”

“Navy Corpseman.”

“On this Memorial Day as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes—and I see many of them in the audience here today….”

“They say that—uh—they say that—uh—in the face of challenges—uh--that we face—we should be trying to be doing less than more.”

“Welcome to Cinco de Cuatro!”

“I don’t know what the term is in Austrian.”

MEDIA RESPONSE: “…this graceful, CEREBRAL, ethereal man…”

“…the most CEREBRAL [president] of them all…”

“…the urbane, super cool, CEREBRAL president.”

Hey! Joe the Plumber is not a licensed plumber! Kill him!