Friday, December 18, 2009

NEWS VS. REPORTING THE NEWS

I haven't been posting much lately gang and the main reason is that I've been so damned depressed wacthing our Representative Republic die before our very eyes. Thanks to a state-run media every bit as filthy, crooked, and decietful as anything cooked up by the Stalin or Hitler "Administrations", far too many Americans have no clue as to what's going on. Far too many wouldn't give a damn if they did. So, despite being down and disgusted, I will show for the benefit of those few who do give a damn exactly how our media actually reports the news.

First the actual news, then the headline.

750,000 new unemployed in December while 750,123 were predicted
RECOVERY! New Jobless Rate Less Than Expected!
Unemployment benefits run out for hundreds of thousands
RECOVERY! Fewer People Filing for Unemployment.
Pulp mill closes in Missoula, MT, 419 good jobs lost permanently in the community.
RECOVERY! Workers Find More Leisure Time!
Another 200,000 homes foreclosed on the past two weeks.
RECOVERY! Statistics Show Banks Have Been Lending Money to Home Owners!
Real unemployment rate actually double what government numbers say.
RECOVERY! New Numbers Prove It’s Not as Bad as We Thought!
Torro sells a single riding lawn mower to a small town in North Carolina.
RECOVERY! Stimulus Package Pays Off, Creates 50 New Jobs!

Obamas reduce Whitehouse Hanukkah guest list from 800 to 400; claiming 800 guests are “too expensive”.
RECOVERY! President Announces Sweeping New Plan for Him to Personally Save the Government Vast Amounts of Money to Reduce the Deficit!

More and more banks folding every week, quietly, across the country.
(Sound of wind in trees and crickets chirping) Even they can’t spin this one, so they don’t report it at all.
$10k marriage penalty tax uncovered in health care bill
RECOVERY! Healthcare to Cost Less than Expected!

EPA acts as a government of its own, ignoring laws, proceedures and, of course, the Constituion, closes dozens of mines, leaves thousands unemployed.
RECOVERY! Increased Incentive to Create Green Jobs.


IN OTHER NEWS

Dems make endless changes to the huge monstrosity of a healthcare bill, in secret, behind closed doors, then try to ram it down the public’s throat without revealing what’s in it.
Harming the Poor! Dragging Their Feet! Evil Repubs Delay Badly Needed Reforms by Asking "What’s in Bill!"
Grassroots Tea Party protests spread rapidly from one Townhall Meeting after another all across the nation.
Man Bites Dog!
Two million Tea Party protestors gather in Washington D.C..
Shocking! Celebrity Caught in Sex Scandal!
From America to New Zealand, the global warming hoax unravels as everyone comes out to report the fake numbers, bogus studies, and outright lies needed to support the theory.
Al Gore on Global Warming; "The science is sound!"
Even more hoaxes revealed.
Global Warming a Deadly Threat to All Life on Earth! AAAAIIIEEE!!!

Muslims blow up airplane, kill 234 people.
Religion of Peace Expresses Dissatisfaction With United States Overseas Policy Dating From the Bush Era!

2 comments:

Jim Fryar said...

Health Care "Reform" will at least create some jobs as hordes of new petty bureaucrats will be hired for the dozens of new government administrative entities whose mission will be

Kind of reminds me of the words of R.L. Stevenson in the Day After Tomorrow:

A little while ago, and we were still for liberty; ‘crowd a few more thousands on the bench of Government,’ we seemed to cry; ‘keep her head direct on liberty, and we cannot help but come to port.’ This is over; laissez faire declines in favor; our legislation grows authoritative, grows philanthropical, bristles with new duties and new penalties, and casts a spawn of inspectors, who now begin, note-book in hand, to darken the face of England. It may be right or wrong, we are not trying that; but one thing it is beyond doubt: it is Socialism in action, and the strange thing is that we scarcely know it.

And the methods he mentions are ageless, we do it:

So much, in other men’s affairs, we have begun to see clearly; we have begun to despair of virtue in these other men, and from our seat in Parliament begin to discharge upon them, thick as arrows, the host of our inspectors. The landlord has long shaken his head over the manufacturer; those who do business on land have lost all trust in the virtues of the shipowner; the professions look askance upon the retail traders and have even started their co-operative stores to ruin them; and from out the smoke-wreaths of Birmingham a finger has begun to write upon the wall the condemnation of the landlord. Thus, piece by piece, do we condemn each other, and yet not perceive the conclusion, that our whole estate is somewhat damnable. Thus, piece by piece, each acting against his neighbour, each sawing away the branch on which some other interest is seated, do we apply in detail our Socialistic remedies, and yet not perceive that we are all labouring together to bring in Socialism at large.

Jim Fryar said...

Sorry, that comment was meant for the post above.