Wednesday, December 30, 2009

THE SYSTEM WORKED II


In case you missed it, after a young male African-born Muslim (now where have we heard that before?) tried to blow up an airliner full of Innocent people on Christmas, and only a malfunction in his bomb and a Dutch passenger taking him down saved everyone from another terrorist catastrophe, Janet "Reno" Napolitano came on a Sunday morning TV talking heads show and claimed, "The system worked!" This has already been eloquently covered here.


Now, it turns out that while Abdul was training for terrorism attacks openly in Yemen with his terrorist pals, two of those terrorist pals, who helped planned the attack, had been released from Gitmo. Seems the two, detainees #333 and #372, had been released to Saudi Arabia (another name we've heard before in relation to crashing passenger jets) where they underwent strenuous de-programming in the form of, I couldn't make this up, a rigorous "art therapy rehabilitation program". Being pronounced "new men", they were then set free.


"We were going to have them go through a 'home economics cooking and baking rehabilitation' program too," said a Saudi spokesman. "But they kept trying to cook C-4 in the muffin tins."


Even with these disasters going on, Obama on his white horse leading the charge, the thing that sticks in my craw the most is that all the lefty politicos and media hacks are still so worried about the foreign-captured non-citizen detainees' RIGHTS. They sure don't give a rat's ass about all the increasing abuses perpetrated by our own government against its own citizens in egregious violation of just about every other sentence of the United States Constitution, but by golly foreign terrorists have RIGHTS! How come no body's worried about our rights?


Are we trapped in some kind of alternate universe Bizzaro World? The folks in charge sure don't seem to be inhabiting the same plant I'm on.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Gun Nut Roundup - December '09

GOA Makes Small Win On Obamacare

Gun Owners of America, the "no compromise" gun lobby was able to eke out a small win for gun owners in the onerous Obamacare bill passed recently in the Senate. The provisions that GOA got inserted in the bill state that no wellness program under the bill may require disclosure or collect information about gun ownership. Another provision would prohibit private insurers covered under the bill from denying coverage, charging higher premiums or denying discounts because the customer owns guns. The bill still sucks, but way to go GOA!

NRA Tweaks Its Iowa Concealed Carry Bill

The NRA has revised its bill to change Iowa from a "may issue" to "shall issue" state. The original bill was criticised as too weak by Jeff Knox and the local group Iowa Gun Owners, among others. The groups Iowa Carry (affiliated with Second Amendment Foundation), the Iowa Sportsmen's Federation (an NRA affiliate), and Iowa State Rifle & Pistol Association (an NRA affiliate) are supporting the NRA's new bill. Let's hope the NRA gets it right.

More Guns, Less Crime In '09

According to early reports from the FBI, during the first half of 2009, murders fell by 10% while gun sales surged by 30% during the same period. Yet again the anti-Second Amendment crowd looks stupid and pathetic pushing their gun bans that have never worked to reduce crime, but reduce only freedom. Absolutely no one who regularly reads this blog will be surprised by these statistics.

Monday, December 28, 2009

MONTANANS!! KICK MAX BAUCUS OUT!!!

Here it is, folks. The petition to hold a re-call election to boot Max out for all his unconstitutional party-line shenanigans. Yes, I know, we would all rather gather 'round and kick him in the groin rather than just kick him out, but let's take what we can get.

Check it out HERE

Help de-throne a petty tyrant today.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

STATES IN DECLINE...A MYSTERY

Having suffered a severe blow to the head, I actually watched a little bit of the Mainstream Media recently, and I actually picked up a few things before I got too sick to my stomach to continue. For instance, CNN Money had a story about which states are losing the most people (and businesses) and losing them fast.

ANNOUNCER: The Top 5 states appear to be California, New York, Michigan, Illinois, and Ohio. Our esteemed CNN financial experts joined with the Obama Administration’s Trained Money Chimp Timothy Geithner and Fed Chairman Ben “Print More” Bernanke to travel to these troubled locales in an attempt to unravel the mysterious circumstances behind their decline.

First, to sunny Los Angeles, Kalifornia.

Q: What do you think are the socio-economic factors behind California’s recent population decline?

A: “Baboso! The f’k outta here, Hijo de puta ! F’in’ gringo! This is Azaltan! Viete a la mierda!”




Moving on to New York City.
Q: What do you think are the socio-economic factors behind New York’s recent population decline?
A: Whadda? Youse talkin’ to me? I’m da only one here. Decline? Gedd outta here. Look at dis beoootiful city. New Yawk’s still da center of da universe…don’t youse watch sit coms? Hunh? Mebbe we tax da rich more? Whadda youse say?


Detriot, MI
Q What do you think are the socio-economic factors behind Michigan’s recent population decline?
A: Lululululu! Allah Akbar! Die infidel!

Chicago, Ill
Q: What do you think are the socio-economic factors behind Illinois' recent population decline?
A: What the hell do I care; nobody runnin' Chicago cares about Illinois! I wanna know what the hell I was thinkin’?!?!? Why didn’t I just get into politics?!?!? It’s so much easier, pays better, and you get to make the laws so you don’t ever hafta do time. With my skills, I coulda been president!


Sarejavo, OH
Q: What do you think are the socio-economic reasons behind Ohio's recent population decline?
A: Can’t be jobs. We have tens of thousands of unfilled jobs for Democrat voter and registrars of fake Democrat voters. The factory jobs may be gone, but we still have all this fine industrial infrastructure intact. We’ve offered employers good deals to build and move here…they don’t have to pay any taxes for the first 30 seconds. Still no luck. Greedy scum. It’s that damned Bush’s fault, anyway. Stinkin' election thief!

ANNOUNCER: So, it remains a mystery why these proud, beautiful states continue to decline. Perhaps we'll never know.
ME CALLING IN: Could be because they're the most liberal states with the highest taxes and the most spending on social programs. Between sky-high taxes, unrealistic extremist environmental regulations, and sheer political correctness, it does not pay for an employer or a producer to come anywhere near those places. Ships fleeing the sinking rat, if you will.
ANNOUNCER: Wait! Breaking news! It appears that the Stimulus Bill has created a new job at the Wichita Zoo. We now take you live to Bimbette Reporter Suzy Snotty in Kansas.

SIZE MATTERS...BUT IN WHAT WAY???

Kudos to Jim over at the Real World Libertarian. Here's a little food for thought on the healthcare "reform" bill and what it could contain. I've read Rand and Tolstoy and I'll be danged if I can tell you what all is actually in those books.

Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address – 272 words.

Contrasted to Obamas Berlin "citizen of the world address" – 2970 words.

Original US Bill of Rights – 518 - (with preamble) – 778 words.

The US Declaration of Independence - 1337 words.

US Constitution – 4400 words.

Magna Carta - 4860 words.

Atlas Shrugged - 1168 pages.

War and Peace (English paperback edition) -1475 pages.

Senate version of Obamacare, a real stinker at, - 2,733 pages.

(My PS: Our family copy of the King James Bible only 594 pages.)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

REID VOTES AGAINST OWN BILL...HERE'S YOUR SIGN.


Well, it seems that good ol' Harry Reid, showing off that stellar intellect he shares with Nancy Pelosi, accidentally voted nay on his own health care "reform" bill during their shady Christmas Eve vote. If this had been a conservative, he would be ridiculed for decades (ala Dan Quayle). But since it's Dingy Harry the press just titters a bit and makes excuses for him being tired. Kind of like when their boy Barack kept making all those gaffes during the campaign and they couldn't completely squelch the stories due to Talk Radio and the Internet.

To me, the only obvious solution is to send Gunnery Sergeant Hartman up to the Senate to teach Dingy Harry the difference between "yea" and "nay" in his own special DI way. I'll bet they'd make a fortune showing it on Pay-per-View.

Monday, December 21, 2009

DEBT FOR DUMMIES, WHO VOTE FOR IT

Here's some food for thought. Let's try to put the debt our unrepresentative "representatives" have put us all into with their irresponsible, greedy, power-hungry behavior. The kind of numbers that are absolutely mind-boggling.

At this moment (I can't answer for it later in the day) our public debt stands at 141% of the Gross National Product. But, with the fine work they're doing now, the whores in Sodom on Potomac can surely do better than that! Zimbabwe still owes more debt than we do. We can make #1 easily enough at the rate we're going.

Add household debt (highest in the world at 99% of GDP) and corporate debt
(highest in the world at 317% of GDP, not even counting off-balance-sheet swaps
and derivatives) and our total debt is 557% of GDP. Less than three years ago
our total indebtedness crossed 500% of GDP for the first time."

Add the
unfunded portion of entitlement programs and we're at 840% of GDP.

Now, we suckas and rubes out here in the real world still cling to that quaint notion that we have to balance our checkbooks. That we must spend less money than what we have. That if we keep borrowing to pay earlier debt and then borrwoing more to cover the last loan, eventually it all collapses. Eventually a guy named Vinnie comes and breaks our kneecaps.

Since our intellectual betters up on the Hill and in the Whitehouse have all the troops, guns, tanks, and planes, they don't have to worry about Vinnie. But being the dedicated public servants that they are, they still diligently tried to reduce our debt this past year. They tried spending more money, then increasing the amount of money they spent, and finally spending money like a drunken sailor. But golly gee, none of those tactics reduced the deficit in any way. In fact, they increased it. But as we speak, Geithner, Obama, and Bernanke are considering a brilliant new strategy known as, in technical Federal Reserve jargon, "shoving more money down the rat hole."

But not to worry, boys and girls. We now have health care "reform" that will somehow greatly decrease the budget by spending more money. It is the answer to all our prayers. Really. You can trust them this time. Go ahead and kick that football to the moon Charlie Brown, good old Lucy is holding it this time.

I know it will magically reduce debt because I saw it on TV last night. With the vote coming up fast and hard in a neck and neck tied race, they are pulling out all the stops and hammering us with a full court press. Every other commercial was for the new healthcare "reform" bill. This from the same networks that refused to air a paid anti-healthcare "reform" commercial, and especially the one that gave Obama his free one-hour infomercial to pimp his non-existent plan. Not that I watch much TV, but I had to leave the room. Those commercials were really something.

"This healthcare reform bill was perfect, even before we completely re-wrote and amended it umpteen times. Just think how perfect it is now! You will be treated for anything, any time, for free. You will pay absolutely nothing! Doctors love it! Senior citizens love it! Nurses love it! People who breath love it! Domestic animals love it! All the fishes in the deep blue sea love it! You too should love it, you doubting nay-saying piece of crap.

Under our bill, the national debt will magically be reduced by 243 hillion jillion dollars, without cutting any benefits of any kind. You can keep your existing doctor. No government bureaucrat will ever interfere with your medical choices. Ever. No death panels. Medicaid and Medicare will be as safe as the day we implemented them and will never let you down.

But wait, there's more! It's not found in any store. Vote now and you also receive this dandy set of Ginsu knives! Our bill will cure male pattern baldness and sunspots and soybean aphids! All children get free puppies and cotton candy! Adults can choose the automobile of their choice! Santa will come even if you're on the "Naughty List"! All the people of the world will gather together to hold hands and sing that old Coca-Cola song...'Id like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony...'

This the Great White Father in Washington promises you for as long as the grass shall grow and the sun shall rise."



Saturday, December 19, 2009

THE LEFT FIDDLES WHILE THE HEARTLAND BURNS...WHERE ARE ALL THESE "GREEN SHOOTS"?



It's been painfully obvious to us here in Fly-Over Country for quite some time that our "leaders" (rulers?) don't give a damn about us and that we essentially have no representation in Washington anymore. The Obamas and Pelosis and Reids and their fawning flunkies in the state-run media can show off an endless parade of "victims" of insufficient government hand-outs, especially during election time, but do they really care about the ordinary working family in these United States? Hardly.


If they did, they might at least pretend to be trying to do something about the foundering economy. The Stimulus was a joke from the get-go, nothing but pork and pay-offs, and since that was such a disaster the Propaganda Ministry has decided it is "the word which must not be spoken". They sure as hell aren't going to mention their Messiah's little broken promise about unemployment never passing 8% if only we would listen to his vast financial wisdom and pass the unfunded monstrosity. Well, it didn't pan out. So what? We've plenty more rat holes to shove money down for no return.

Now, at the beginning of the new Depression, which is what we are sliding into despite all the outright lies about green shoots and recoveries, the Mugabe Obama Administration and his corrupt cronies in Congress are doing all they can to DESTROY JOBS in this country faster than ever.

In Copenhagen "fixing" Global Warming, an extremely dubious problem in reality anyway, will amount to the US government shoveling out billions of taxpayer dollars (which we don't have, if you haven't been paying attention) to every little Third World dirt bag country with its hand out. Basically, it amounts to buying votes, just like they do in Chicago. That's sure not going to create any jobs. The EPA is running rampant as a Godzilla-like entity unto itself, answering to no one, over-regulating or closing down everything in its path, especially mines, costing tens of thousands more job when we are already overwhelmed with an endless spiral of unemployed workers. Cap-and-Tax will end up costing the average American working family several thousand bucks more in increased fees and taxes which, in case you haven't noticed, we pay too much of for no return already. All this bullshit about Green Energy creating jobs, in reality, means losing even more jobs in the existing energy industries.

Health Care "Reform" will at least create some jobs as hordes of new petty bureaucrats will be hired for the dozens of new government administrative entities whose mission will be, like that of the VA and Work Comp, to find creative ways to screw the average Joe out of either medical treatment or funds, but preferably both. This may offset the 40% of doctors already talking about hanging it up rather than work for a government-run health care system. It also makes it that much harder for the few productive working families left in the country, as it steals more money out of their pockets. The marriage penalty unearthed in the bill, for instance, would cost families an addition $10,000 in taxes.

But even all this talk of the big picture tends to make the sheeples' eyes glaze over as they eagerly believe all the "good news" oozing from Sodom on Potomac and faithfully regurgitated by the Ministry of Truth. Real truth means nothing, and no matter how you skew and spin the numbers, people are hurting and hurting bad in the Heartland. We never hear about the human cost to real-life flesh-and-blood everyday people. As Uncle Joe Stalin reportedly said, "One death is a tragedy. One million is a statistic."


Not long ago, my wife and I were in line behind a woman who had two shopping carts filled to overflowing with groceries. Just groceries. No booze, no cigarettes, no toys. She had two small children in tow. Her shoulders were bowed as if by a great weight, and she looked tired. Apologizing for stalling the check-out line with so many purchases at once, she explained the reason for such a large buy, and as she did so one could see a touch of fear in her eyes.

Her husband worked, and had worked for many years, at the Missoula paper mill. I knew the place. It provided very good jobs for this area, better than double the average wage, union jobs, the median pay going around $70,000 a year, almost enough to pay for a single Barack & Michelle date in New York. The young couple was living in fear, the woman told us, that the husband would lose his long-time job at the mill, that it would close down altogether. They were trying to buy groceries for three months in advance...while they still had some money...just in case.

I pray they are doing OK, along with 416 other families.

For this week, the corporation of Smurfit-Stone announced it will be shutting down the Frenchtown, MT paper mill...permanently. Just gone; 417 good-paying jobs, $45 million in salaries and benefits going into the local economy per year, 620,000 tons of linerboard produced annually.

Yet that's only the tip of the iceberg. There's the loggers, the sawyers, the skidder operators, the truckers, the railroad workers...all the people in the long chain of jobs that it takes to get the wood from the forest to the mill. All those folks, like the mill workers, who put their wages back into the local economy, keeping other jobs afloat. The state is talking of around a thousand additional spin-off jobs lost as the effects of the original 417 become felt.

The timber industry has long since been crippled by environmentalist wackos; thousands of jobs gone ever since the Spotted Owl dog-and-pony show, and some of numbers of those studies may be, and probably are, about as "accurate" and "scientific" as those utilized by the Global Warming crowd. Animals, and even plants, to the Left, are much more important than human beings and their suffering. Entire small mountain communities supported by generations of logging dried up and blew away. The promised eco-tourism jobs that would save them all never materialized. Go figure.

This latest mill closing could likely be the straw that breaks the camel's back for the remnants of the timber industry in Southwest Montana. Logging operations in the counties surrounding Missoula have suddenly crashed to a complete halt. The saws, skidders, feller-bunchers, trucks, and rail cars sit idle. No one wants to harvest a product for which they cannot find a buyer. Everyone is waiting to see what will happen. Will there only be a "mere" 1,000 spin-off jobs lost? What about the factory workers in states far across the country who manufacture the heavy equipment that is suddenly a liability rather than an asset? What about the folks working in the stores where these now unemployed timber people spend their wages?

But really. Who cares? Obama keeps promising the world, Congress is going to pass an unfundable health care bill to save us all, we have the Tiger Woods story to keep us distracted, the Press keeps insisting everything is just peachy, and the Survivor finale is on this weekend. What's a few jobs?

To Washington, obviously, nothing. Nothing at all.

Friday, December 18, 2009

NEWS VS. REPORTING THE NEWS

I haven't been posting much lately gang and the main reason is that I've been so damned depressed wacthing our Representative Republic die before our very eyes. Thanks to a state-run media every bit as filthy, crooked, and decietful as anything cooked up by the Stalin or Hitler "Administrations", far too many Americans have no clue as to what's going on. Far too many wouldn't give a damn if they did. So, despite being down and disgusted, I will show for the benefit of those few who do give a damn exactly how our media actually reports the news.

First the actual news, then the headline.

750,000 new unemployed in December while 750,123 were predicted
RECOVERY! New Jobless Rate Less Than Expected!
Unemployment benefits run out for hundreds of thousands
RECOVERY! Fewer People Filing for Unemployment.
Pulp mill closes in Missoula, MT, 419 good jobs lost permanently in the community.
RECOVERY! Workers Find More Leisure Time!
Another 200,000 homes foreclosed on the past two weeks.
RECOVERY! Statistics Show Banks Have Been Lending Money to Home Owners!
Real unemployment rate actually double what government numbers say.
RECOVERY! New Numbers Prove It’s Not as Bad as We Thought!
Torro sells a single riding lawn mower to a small town in North Carolina.
RECOVERY! Stimulus Package Pays Off, Creates 50 New Jobs!

Obamas reduce Whitehouse Hanukkah guest list from 800 to 400; claiming 800 guests are “too expensive”.
RECOVERY! President Announces Sweeping New Plan for Him to Personally Save the Government Vast Amounts of Money to Reduce the Deficit!

More and more banks folding every week, quietly, across the country.
(Sound of wind in trees and crickets chirping) Even they can’t spin this one, so they don’t report it at all.
$10k marriage penalty tax uncovered in health care bill
RECOVERY! Healthcare to Cost Less than Expected!

EPA acts as a government of its own, ignoring laws, proceedures and, of course, the Constituion, closes dozens of mines, leaves thousands unemployed.
RECOVERY! Increased Incentive to Create Green Jobs.


IN OTHER NEWS

Dems make endless changes to the huge monstrosity of a healthcare bill, in secret, behind closed doors, then try to ram it down the public’s throat without revealing what’s in it.
Harming the Poor! Dragging Their Feet! Evil Repubs Delay Badly Needed Reforms by Asking "What’s in Bill!"
Grassroots Tea Party protests spread rapidly from one Townhall Meeting after another all across the nation.
Man Bites Dog!
Two million Tea Party protestors gather in Washington D.C..
Shocking! Celebrity Caught in Sex Scandal!
From America to New Zealand, the global warming hoax unravels as everyone comes out to report the fake numbers, bogus studies, and outright lies needed to support the theory.
Al Gore on Global Warming; "The science is sound!"
Even more hoaxes revealed.
Global Warming a Deadly Threat to All Life on Earth! AAAAIIIEEE!!!

Muslims blow up airplane, kill 234 people.
Religion of Peace Expresses Dissatisfaction With United States Overseas Policy Dating From the Bush Era!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

NCIS: NARCISSISTIC CALLOUS IMPERIOUS SNOBS


EPISODE 29:


OPENING SCENE: Sweet, innocent young child-like MUSLIM MARINE plays with fluffy bunnies and bluebirds in the park. Shadow falls over him. He turns. Screams. Fade to black.

SCENE: NCIS HEADQUARTERS: Enter handsome Black Muslim officer immaculately turned out in Dress Blues with a chestful of fruit salad, waving Old Glory.

MUSLIM OFFICER: Since we recently had a whacked-out Muslim Army officer go on a terrorist shooting spree at Fort Hood, we must educate the washed masses that Muslims are happy-go-lucky patriotic good guys and Christians are all evil bigots. Luckily, we just happened to have a crime committed against Islam. Agent GIBBS, we must investigate a heinous terrorist act at Quantico; someone gave a MUSLIM MARINE a wedgie.

GIBBS: I'll put my team on it. We'll find out who gave the wedgie. We don't stand for that.

ZIVA: We all know that Islam is the Religion of Peace.

McGEE: You're not a real Israeli, are you?

MUSLIM OFFICER: I'll leave you to it. Time for me to get out my prayer rug, face Mecca, and pray to Allah for the downfall of America the Great Satan.

DIRECTOR: Just so long as you don't mention Jesus in a public building.

ABBY: By analyzing the victim's torn-off underwear label, I have a lead. Lance Corporal REDNECK MARINE.

TONY: Ah, it says here he's the son of a preacher man. Hmmm, looks like we'll have to go to some pathetic rube-filled town in Fly-Over Country with a population of less than 100,000.

GIBBS: I probably can't even get a good gourmet coffee there.

ZIVA: EEEEEeeewww. Or decent organically-grown arugula.

McGEE & TONY: Start doing verbal Dueling Banjos shtick and shouting, "Squeeaaal like a pig, boy."


SCENE: SMALL TOWN BAR: Deer heads and old guns hang on every wall. Smoke to the ceiling. Sawdust on the floor. Dueling banjos plays on the ancient Wurlitzer jukebox. Confederate and Nazis flags hang over bar. Sullen-looking slack-jawed tobacco-chewing men lacking several key teeth and wearing bib overalls with only one strap glare at TONY and ZIVA as they enter.

TONY, SMIRKING: Welcome to Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Looks like these guys didn't get the word about evolution. Must believe in intelligent design. Put the whole clientele together and you might have one complete set of teeth, ha-ha.

ZIVA: I'll bet they hate Jews, too. Look. There's REDNECK MARINE.

TONY: NCIS. We need to ask you some questions. Like...You wanna squeal like a pig, boy? You wanna go over to Mr. Drysdale's place to see the cement pond? You know where I can get a bucket of 'possum grits? Did you marry your first cousin or only your second?


REDNECK MARINE tries to punch TONY in the nose. TONY and ZIVA kick the living crap out of about 20 rednecks, destroy the bar, and haul REDNECK MARINE away in cuffs.

SCENE: NCIS INTERROGATION ROOM:

GIBBS: I'm going to give you just one chance to fess up, Marine. Confess to giving MUSLIM MARINE a wedgie or I'll have you up on charges of being a white male Christian heterosexual who believes in the Constitution.

REDNECK MARINE: That ain't in the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice).

GIBBS: So what? We're Federal agents. We violate any rule or law we please, especially the Constitution, every episode. As long as we get the "bad guy" in the end, even with the most egregious of violations, it's OK. Now tell us, what do you have against Muslims serving in the Corps?

REDNECK MARINE: Gee, let's see. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 kidnapped and massacred Israeli competitors at the Munich Olympics, took over the U.S. embassy in Iran and three Marines died in the rescue attempt, they killed 220 Marines by blowing up their barracks in Beruit, hijacked a cruise ship and killed a 70-year-old Jewish man in a wheelchair, hijacked TWA Flight 847 and killed a Navy diver, bombed Pan Am Flight 103 killing hundreds, attempted to blow up the World Trade Center the first time, bombed U.S. embassies in Africa, killing 223 people including U.S. Marine guards, attacked the anchored USS Cole and killed 17 U.S. Navy sailors, crashed airliners into the Twin Towers and killed thousands, kidnapped and beheaded a journalist, killed nearly a thousand Marines in Iraq and Afghanistan, bombed...

MUSLIM OFFICER storms into the room: We have him now! Political Incorrectness and blaspheming the Prophet! I'm issuing a fatwah against you! Your severed head will dangle from the post flag pole by sunset!

McGEE: Whew. I'm glad we stopped REDNECK MARINE'S ignorant rural Christian-based intolerance and bigotry.

MUSLIM OFFICER: Shut-up, Yankee pig-dog. The Irish will be next; Orange and Green. (Checks watch) Whoops, time to go hit the ol' prayer rug, infidels.

DIRECTOR: It is good that we are allowed to freely practice our religions here in the United States of America!


FADE TO CREDITS


ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned! Coming up next the buff hunks of NCIS Los Angeles infiltrate and destroy an evil syndicate of bearded gun-totin' male WASP militia fanatics who have formed a bogus border patrol organization for the sinister purpose of giving wedgies to undocumented workers crossing the border.

And at ten o'clock, Katie Couric will bring us an in-depth investigation concerning the Fox News Channel's obvious bias and propaganda.







Friday, December 11, 2009

Ben's Top 10 Suggested Slogans For The Republicans' 2010 "Comeback" Campaign

10.) Vote Republican: We screwed things up less recently than the Dems!
9.) Why vote for "tax and spend" Democrats when you could vote for "borrow and spend" Republicans?
8.) Four words: War resolution against Uruguay!
7.) We stand AGAINST increased spending and big government solutions when the opposing party proposes them... usually.
6.) Vote G.O.P- Our faith in free markets is like the Rio Grande: A mile wide, but an inch deep.
5.) We miss listening to your phone calls!
4.) Please! McCain needs to feel liked!
3.) Medicare drug plans and "bridges-to-nowhere" don't look so wasteful now, do they smarty-pants?
2.) We'll drive the country off a cliff in a lower gear than the Democrats.
And the Number One suggested slogan for the Republicans' 2010 "comeback" campaign is...
Up to you! Post your suggestions below.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

CLIMATEGATE II; WILL THE REAL PILTDOWN MAN PLEASE STAND UP?




Boy, oh, boy. When it rains it pours. And it's not due to Global Warming. The BBC has plunged into the Climategate pool by exposing the "Fudge Factor" used in CRU's computer models of Global Warming. You know, those GIGO programs that Algore touts so proudly in an Inconvenient Truth, his Oscar-winning work of fiction. I love a "documentary" that cites no real sources other than, "Computer models show...", "Studies indicate...", and "A friend of mine took this picture."

So now, the greatest Global Warming poseur of them all, Albert "Owl" Gore Junior, recently had to pay back some $3,600,000 to reimburse ticket holders who were going to attend one of Al's goofy-ass public appearances in Copenhagen in support of the UN's Scam-'Em-Out-Of-Their-Money Climate Conference. Seems Albert had to cancel at the last minute, leaving a load of idiots who paid $1,200 a pop to see the Goracle blither and shake his hand wanting refunds.

The Goracle's vague excuses for the cancellation include "unforeseen changes" in Gore's agenda and a "great annoyance". One has to wonder after years of cushy softball questions from a leftist media and a Democratic Senate protecting Uncle Albert from even having to debate Lord Monckton, the terrifying spectre of answering some real questions about the farce that's made him rich has frightened away the Goracle. The MSM is, of course, still trying to ignore this whole deal, but it keeps leaking out. This is gonna make Al sorry he ever "invented the Internet".

Despite frantic Whitehouse denials from the Alchemy & Astrology Csar Sue Doscience that Global Warming is a real scientific crisis, Barack Hussein Obama has also suddenly felt the need to change his plans as well, and will now wait until the end of the UN Climate Conference to attend. No doubt with a finger in the air the whole time to see which way the wind blows.

The cockroaches are scuttling for the shelter of the fridge fast now as Climategate crosses the pond and pops up in these United States. NASA is under fire...again...for having more "accidents" with their own climate figures.


Christopher C. Horner, a senior fellow at the Competitive Enterprise Institute, said NASA has refused for two years to provide information under the Freedom of Information Act that would show how the agency has shaped its climate data and explain why the agency has repeatedly had to correct its data dating as far back as the 1930s.


"I assume that what is there is highly damaging," Mr. Horner said. "These guys are quite clearly bound and determined not to reveal their internal discussions about this."


The Whitehouse Misinformation Csar Lou Knee responded to this issue, saying, "Nothing to see here. Move along. Get back in the Soylent Green line, now. There's a good sheeple." The Mainstream Media echoed his sentiments when, in the 12 days since the story broke, 3 networks (NBC, CBS, ABC) somehow managed to completely overlook and not once even mention Climategate.


Thankfully, though, this appears to be getting too big for the politicians and their media lapdogs to keep sweeping under the rug. Take heart. With the greatest "scientists" of their time working on it, it only took 40 years for Piltdown Man to be exposed as a colossal hoax. Someday, assuming Western Civilization survives the Obama Administration, we will all look back on Global Warming and laugh at these so-called experts the way we now do at those who believed in such silly concepts as the earth being flat, healing by bleeding out bad blood, and "hope and change".