So, in the name of sociology and international goodwill, I began my study. After watching the Mad Max trilogy and all 11 seasons of The Paul Hogan Show back-to-back, drinking Foster's at an Outback Steakhouse and spending countless hours of close analysis of an Elle MacPherson swimsuit calender, I dare say that I now know so much about the country that I should rightfully be declared the new king of Australia (or President or chieftain or whatever they have down there).
|Australians (Photo of entire population.)|
Unfortunately, I must have purchased an out of date world globe because I was unable to find Australia on it. However, I was able to find Madagascar or Italy or some shit. I quickly claimed this new found land for myself. (It is now called Benonia. Please use a permanent marker to update your own world globes at home.)
In my research I found that one of the main differences between the Australians and the Americans is our language. For instance the Australians call a fight a "blue" and a sandwich a "sanger." When you string words and phrases like these together into what we masterful wordsmiths call "sentences," the end result can be quite different in Australian and American. Consider the following two examples: