Friday, February 15, 2008


I've been posting a great deal lately, but there are so many rich subjects to address and ridicule these days. As Thomas Paine once said, "These are the times that try men's stomachs."

The mantra has started already, even from some old and dear friends of mine. Juan McCain has not even been anointed yet, and RINOs and Neo-Cons are already bleating away, starting to make excuses for him rather than extoll his "virtues". The same old tired arguments are being drug back out into the light of day once more, just as they always are. “Well, he’s better than Hillary or Obama! We can’t let either one of them in the Whitehouse or life on earth as we know it will end! The sky is falling! Wolf! Wolf!

So what the heck. I’ll beat this dead horse one last time and call it a day. Hhmmm, let me think back to the last time I fell for the old “Lesser of Two Evils” ploy. If Owl Gore or Kerry beats Bush, I was told by the Neo-Cons, things will be so horrible as to defy the imagination. So, once more, I held my nose and voted for the lesser of two evils one last time. And what did I get?

I got two reigns of King George the Shrub. He had eight years, half of that with a GOP majority in Congress to do something, anything for his conservative base. Instead, I got the country plunged further and faster into a Socialist Police State than ever before. I got a Constitution that is “just a g****** piece of paper”. I got a President who was ready, willing and able to sign a permanent assault weapons ban when it got to his desk and who is, as we speak, putting all his office’s political pressure on the courts to rule that the 2nd Amendment is not an individual right. The First Amendment keeps taking kicks in the teeth in the form of “Free-Speech Zones”, McCain-Feingold, and legislation against “domestic terrorists”, and not the ones in office. The Fourth has already weathered a couple of hits, and Jorge is salivating to get warrant-less wiretaps rammed through Congress right now. Eminent domain was urinated upon, and a few more shovels of dirt were thrown upon the wilted flowers that mark the 10th Amendment’s grave.

When a whole alphabet of bloated, inefficient, bureaucratic “intelligence” agencies failed us miserably, the solution was (obviously!) to create and even bigger, more complex, and less efficient monster bureaucracy called Homeland Security (Fatherland and Motherland were already taken). I got TSA goons harassing my elderly mother when she tries to board a plane. I got wide open borders, repeated attempts to shove an amnesty for illegals down my throat, and Border Patrol agents rail-roaded and incarcerated for doing their jobs. At the same time FedGov cannot even find 25 million illegal aliens, I’m supposed to put chips in my dog, cat and chickens via NIAS. I got increased militarization of law enforcement agencies, and less accountability for them. I got a quagmire of endless wars and nation-building, costing us roughly $2 billion every 24 hours and making us more enemies every day, in which no one can even define “victory”, let alone how to achieve it. I got oil that went from $23 a barrel to $100. I got a national debt that has spiraled well past 9 TRILLION dollars, bankrupting the nation even more than it already was. I got a government that condones torture. And, to top it all off, despite the unwilling sacrificing of freedom for security, I just have less of both in the end.

Oh, thank goodness that horrible mean ol’ nasty other guy didn’t get into the Whitehouse and screw things up! Now I am told, once again, that if Hillary or Obama gets into the Oval Orifice, the world will once again end. Hey, as much as I loathed Billy Jeff Clinton, even a halfway honest person will have to admit that we lost a heckuva lot more freedoms and civil rights under King George than we ever did under Slick Willie. Now, once more, in lieu of coming up with a candidate that is even halfway decent, or at least doesn't cause naseau and vomiting among real Conservatives, the GOP Party drones and hacks have had to fall back, again, on the old lesser of two evils game plan.

To get all this down to simple terms, the Neo-Cons and RINOs are Lucy from the comic strip Peanuts, and the conservative GOP base is, of course, Charlie Brown. Every two to four years, Lucy tells Charlie Brown she’ll hold the football for him, and this time he can boot it to the moon. And every time poor old Charlie Brown gets himself all wound up, steps back to kick, and rushes forward whole-heartedly. And every time, Lucy yanks the football away at the last minute, and Charlie Brown once more is betrayed and crashes and burns. Yet, two to four years later, Charlie Brown not only believes Lucy again, he bleats to the country that Lucy is the only one who can be trusted. So now in 2008, what a surprise, Charlie Brown is already starting to wail and gnash his teeth we must trust Lucy one more time because Hillary and/or Obama will lie to us.

Let’s take a look at our latest Lucy, shall we; Senator Juan “Amnesty” McCain. He has, since the Savings & Loan Scandal of the 80’s, been proving that he has the morals, integrity and truthfulness of late-night Texaco urinal bacteria. At least King George pretended to be a conservative; McCain hasn’t even bothered to pretend, playing kissy-kiss with Uncle Teddy in the Senate, feeling out Edwards for a Democrat VP ticket, and already speaking of "reaching across the aisle". Sure, he may be to the right of Osama-Bama or Hitlery, but the angle is so acute you have to measure it in mils, not degrees. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the Great White Hope, the last man standing between us and total annihilation. Hitlery or Osama-Bama will drive the bus off the cliff into a Socialist Police State at 75 miles per hour. Juan McCain promises to keep ‘er down to 70 mph and to use his turn signal when he veers sharply left. Yeah! Our savior! How can you vote for anyone else?!?!

So, sorry Lucy; that poor, tired old dog is just too stove up and long in the tooth to hunt any more. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.


Ben said...

Actually, I'd like to thank the GOP for apparently making Juan McStain their nominee: It made my conversion to registered Libertarian very painless. If it was Fred Thompson or maybe even Huck, I might have been tempted to vote for the GOP one more time. Not now.

Bawb said...

Sorry to take attention away from the Constitutional Convention, Ben. I could have maybe have possibly held my nose and pulled the lever for Huckabee. Not Juan. I guess it is going to take a complete and total implosion of the GOP before they either (A) get the message at long last or (B) are consigned to the trashheap of history so a new, real conservative party can come into being. Libertarian it is; we already have one as the "swing voter" in the Montana State Legislature. Time to round up more.