Ben's Top 10 Headlines For Inauguration Day 2009

1. Historic Day: Final President Sworn In!
2. 2nd Amendment Flees Country
3. Panting Media Finally Spunks On Self
4. Second Carter Term Begins
5. John McCain Bends Over; Beckons New President
6. "In God We Trust" On Currency To Be Replaced With Rev. Wright's "God D*mn America!"
7. Jesse Jackson Cries Again; Makes A "Boom-Boom" In Diaper
8. Alabama Forces Fire On Fort Sumter
9. Michelle Obama Feels Proud Of Country; Feeling Passes
10. President Bush Cracks A Cold One

Did I forget any? Add your suggestions below. (Nothing racist please.)