Saturday, June 25, 2011

GEITHNER REVEALS NEW OBAMA PLAN TO CREATE JOBS AND FIX THE ECONOMY. YEAH, IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU'D EXPECT.



He’s baaaacckk. That’s right folks, the only tax cheat intelligent enough to fix the economy, Treasury Secretary Timothy “Eddie Haskel” Geithner, recently scuttled out from under the fridge to address Congress. Drawing upon his vast financial experience of having lived in Zimbabwe, Zambia, Thailand and India (I’m not making that up!) Eddie unveiled the cerebral Obama Regime’s latest far-sighted and brilliant plan to fix the American economy…tax small businesses out of existence so that the government won’t have to make any cuts!!!!

Read the full story HERE.

When Ellmers finally told Geithner that “the point is we need jobs,” he responded that the administration felt it had “no alternative” but to raise taxes on small businesses because otherwise “you have to shrink the overall size of government programs”—including federal education spending.

“We're not doing it because we want to do it, we're doing it because we see no alternative to a balanced approach to reduce our fiscal deficits,” said Geithner.

“We’re calling it the Mugabe Plan, and believe it can do for our national economy what it did for his. Under our plan, the President assures you that the Ghanaian cedi will not replace the American dollar as the world's reserve currency, at least not for six months or so. Plus, if you pass this plan, he promises unemployment will never go above 25%. Act now and get an I.O.U. for a Ginsu knife. Trust us. We know what we're doing."

BenandBawbsblog contacted a more knowledgeable and better qualified financial expert, Tim Panzee, and asked for his opinion on the latest Obama Regime Band-Aid on a Brain Tumor Tax-and-Spend Plan.

Geithner makes BBB's financial consultant Tim Panzee look like Steve Forbes. "What a bunch of moroons, " said Panzee.

His response was short and concise: “'Sapiens' my ass! Jesus Christ! I could come up with a better economy based upon the barter of bananas, clumps of matted hair, and rat droppings. Talk about clueless. What a bunch of morons.”

Here at Das Blog, we are taking the advice of the obviously more financially savvy of the two and dumping our dollars to invest in clumps of matted hair and rat droppings.

2 comments:

Ben said...

Oh yeah! I saw on the markets that matted hair is up 6 points today.

Jim Fryar said...

Glad to see that Ben, thanks for the tip. I was a bit sceptical when you mentioned it but decided to invest anyway.

Any news on the rat droppings?