TANKS A LOT

 “We cannot continue to rely on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives we’ve set. We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.”

You may not remember that “private army” quote from The One in 2008. And well you shouldn’t. You’re probably distracted and cowering in fear. After all, that big, mean, scary “sequester” boogieman threatens to strip the poor little starving fed.gov of its ability to “protect” us, just as Obama said on a recent $1,000,000-trip to go play a round of golf with Tiger Woods. The Secret Service cannot afford to allow public tours of the Whitehouse anymore due to the money crunch and we’ve all heard the other Big Bad Wolf stories the O and his O-Bots are spinning; “Draconian budget cuts” will disrupt essential services and delay air travelers. Luckily, however, DHS was just able to scratch up just enough pennies ($50 million worth) for some snazzy new uniforms. Whew! That was a close one!

The dire threat of fractionally decreasing a drop or two of blood to the engorged federal tick has led to other, more dire threats to public security as well. For instance, DHS can only afford to purchase a measly 1.6 billion rounds of small arms ammunition. To put that trifling amount into perspective, that would have sustained the US Army for only twenty or so years of hard combat in Iraq during the height of the war.

Perhaps even more alarming is the fact that at the moment DHS’ armored columns are restricted to little more than 2,700 MRAPs. As background to those who might not be familiar with MRAP, it means Mine Resistant Ambush Protected vehicle. Land mines having only been in regular military use since before the American Civil War, it came as a huge shock to US military brass and government leaders when mines were encountered in Iraq. Only $50 billion and a mere six years later, Congress gave our troops the MRAPs, based on what the Rhodesians pieced together on their own in a matter of months in the 1970’s. Essentially a 14-ton wheeled Armored Personnel Carrier, the MRAP has a well-armored V-shaped hull underneath to deflect all but the biggest mine blasts, huge run-flat tires, standard armor against small arms fire up to .50-caliber, firing ports for the passengers to shoot from, and a manual “gun tub” turret on top to mount trinkets like .50-caliber Browning machine guns or Mk 19 40mm automatic grenade launchers. 

"Coming soon for your ass." 

If you’re asking just why DHS needs all that ammo and all those armored fighting vehicles, shut your pie hole. If you really wanna know, a tank and a bunch of commandos will come through your wall shortly to explain in graphic detail.

Besides, 2,717 is a rather piddling number of MRAPs. Just think! To put that one into perspective, if this were 1939 Obama would only be able to equip a mere seven Waffen SS Panzer Divisions if he desired to invade Poland. And you thought DHS didn’t need them! Besides, the Sheeple will be pleased to note that some of the domestic MRAPs have “POLICE-RESCUE” (really!) painted on the side, not just something militant like “DHS” or “STASI” or “NKVD”. They really can be considered rescue vehicles when you think about it. Hitler used them to rescue France, the Low Countries, the Balkans, etc. from themselves and Stalin was able to rescue all of Eastern Europe for nearly fifty years!

Meanwhile, Premiere Obama, Nancy “Not Even a Useful Idiot” Pelosi, and their assorted ilk are screaming that YOU, dear peasant, don’t need a gun to protect yourself with. Methinks they doth protest too much.