STAKEHOLDERS, SNAKEHOLDERS AND LACKIES, OH MY

Comprehensive Immigration Reform: "Soooo-eee! Sooooo-eeee! Come 'n' get it!"

Remember when we used to bitch about George W. Bush being soft on illegal immigration? Well, his porous border policy is starting to look like the Berlin Wall compared to the current bunch of douche bags now in power.

For instance, the Illegal-Alien-in-Chief recently held a meeting at the White House on Tuesday to discuss the, "importance of fixing our nation's broken immigration system for our 21st-century economic and national security needs." It was a meeting of “stakeholders” in the immigration issue.

So, just what kind of great minds and experts were invited to impart their wisdom upon this issue? According to TOTUS, speaking through the POTUS, the meetings consisted of a "broad group of business, law enforcement, faith and former and current elected leaders from across the political spectrum."

Which, included such luminaries as the eloquent Reverend Al "White folks was in caves while we was building empires” Sharpton, top AFL/CIO Union Thug Richard Trumpka, former governor and Quisling Republican Ahnold Schwarzenegger, the mayors of New York, LA and Philly, the CEO of Facebook, John Podesta of CAP (Crackpot Amnesty Pushers), a couple of J.P. Morgan big shots, the Bishop of Salt Lake City, and illegal alien White House gardener Jesus Pancho Gonzales.

What kind of “non-stakeholders” were not on the guest list? You can bet your ass Arizona Sheriffs Joe Arpaio and Paul Babeu weren’t. No Arizona sheriffs at all were. And it’s easy to see why.

“An Arizona sheriff says he has been flooded with calls and emails of support from local and federal agents who back his claims that the U.S. Border Patrol has effectively ordered them to stop apprehending illegal immigrants crossing the U.S.-Mexican border. ’Upper management has advised supervisors to have agents ‘turn back South’ (TBS) the illegal aliens (aka bodies) they detect attempting to unlawfully enter the country … at times you even hear supervisors order the agents over the radio to 'TBS' the aliens instead of catching them,’ one San Diego border agent wrote in an email to Cochise County Sheriff Larry Dever. ’This only causes more problems as the aliens, as you know, don't just go back to Mexico and give up. They keep trying, sometimes without 10 minutes in-between attempts, to cross illegally,’ continued the email, which was among a number of communications to Dever reviewed by FoxNews.com. ‘This makes the job for agents more dangerous. Not only are the aliens more defiant, they also begin to feel like they can get away with breaking our federal laws.’”

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer wasn’t invited as a stakeholder either, even though she recently vetoed a bill which would have required candidates running for political office in the state to prove their U.S. citizenship, something you’d think would be quite near and dear to POTUS. In fact, it turned out that NO governor from ANY border state was invited as “stakeholder”. Neither were any of their Representatives or Senators. The only Arizonan present was leftist toady Tucson Police Chief Roberto “It’s Rush’s Fault” Villaseñor.

So, basically, it was just a bunch of flunkies and kiss-asses telling Dear Leader whatever he wanted to hear so he can dredge up ye olde DREAM Act again. "Immigration Reform" is just a liberal code word for "Amnesty".

Il Du(n)ce defended illegals and the need for immigration reform, saying, “They're just here to vote for the people Americans can’t or won’t vote for themselves.”

ARIZONA MAY HAVE SOME NEW SHERIFFS IN TOWN

With the Federal government rampantly out of control and using the Constitution as toilet paper, finally, there are some flickers of the former spirit of America starting to kindle into flame. States are re-reading the 10th Amendment, and sheriffs are realizing their own authority within their counties. In no place is this more apparent than in Arizona, formerly Occupied Azaltan, where the ineptitude and failure of the Feds have finally forced the people to stand up and cry, “Enough!”

First was “controversial” Sheriff Joe Arpaio, of Phoenix. “Controversial” is Newspeak for, “Doing what the people and not the liberal ruling elite want.” President Obama gets anti-American books from tin pot South American dictators; Joe Arpaio gets a price on his head from Mexican drug cartels. I think this speaks volumes about who’s being more effective. That’s right folks, the drug cartels have allegedly put a $1,000,000 bounty on Arpaio.

Attorney Lance Corporal Eric “Heinrich” Holder was quick to respond: “We’ll top that offer! We’ll double it! Two million! Unfortunately, we’ll have to pay in GM stocks. Bring me the head of Joe Arpaio!”

(Maybe they wouldn't have to pay in GM stock if they didn’t have to spend so much money on illegals.)

Upon hearing of the Arizona and Maricopa County crackdown on illegals, and seeing how popular it was amongst the American people, John McCain quickly poked his head out of his weasel burrow to squeak, “Me too! Me too!” only to be kicked repeatedly in the head by the cowboy boots of several Arizona deputy sheriffs.

Speaking of sheriffs, Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu has also had about enough BS from the feds.

“What’s very troubling is the fact that at a time when we in law enforcement and our state need help from the federal government, instead of sending help they put up billboard-size signs warning our citizens to stay out of the desert in my county because of dangerous drug and human smuggling and weapons and bandits and all these other things and then, behind that, they drag us into court with the ACLU,” Babeu said.

“Our own government has become our enemy and is taking us to court at a time when we need help,” Babeu said.

The Obama Administration responded quickly. “We are not the enemy. YOU, the American people, are! To ensure the safety of the Undocumented Democratic Voters coming to our country to enable the proper authorities to remain in office, we’re going to post more billboards and close all southern Arizona National Forests, National Parks, National Monuments, military reservations, and BLM land to the American public and local law enforcement authorities. And if you call us the enemy again, we’ll start dropping JDAMs on your ass!”

Then, someone who actually read the Constitution noticed Article I, Section 10 of the U.S. Constitution, which says: "No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay."

With an estimated 500,000 illegal aliens in the state of Arizona, that means a force larger than the armies fielded by Afghanistan, Germany, Iraq, or Great Britain; actually the equivalent of the 10th largest army in the world. And that’s just one state. Sounds like an invasion to me. As for imminent danger, ask rancher Robert Krentz, or any of these folks. Unfortunately, they won’t be able to answer as they’re dead at the hands of illegals.

The Obama regime responded, “That’s why we need Supreme Court justices like liberal sock puppet Sonia Sotomayor and the utterly unqualified Elena (My God, she really does look like Kevin James in drag) Kagan. Completely beholden to us for their phoney baloney positions, they can be counted upon to ‘interpret’ the Constitution the way we want it interpreted. We can’t let silly old things like the law of the land to interfere with our Utopian Socialist progress.”

In a very interesting response to the invasion and imminent Danger being ignored be the feds, Arizona state Senator Jack Harper has introduced SB1132, to establish an Arizona State Civil Guard that would be a separate entity from the National Guard. He wants to call it, in a twist of bittersweet irony, the “Homeland Security Force”.

The House of Representatives Pet Imbecile Nancy Pelosi also called a press conference in which she strongly condemned the measure in her usual intellectual manner. “Racist! Bigot! Nazi! Homopho….Ooooo. Look at the pretty butterfly! La-la-la-la-la-la.”

Wayne "Benedict" LaPierre of the NRA also poked his head out of their weasel burrow to protest that there was no specific exemption for their lobbyists, but he was kicked repeatedly in the head by the combat boots of the swarms of volunteers rushing to enlist in the state militia.

We may get some of that "Change" the campaigning buffoon promised after all, just not the kind he wanted.

DEFINING THE THREAT...MEXICAN GUN RUNNERS OR HOLSTEINS?

What the government is here to protect you from.

Mexican gun-runner. No problem. Perfectly Harmless

Dairy cows! Aiiieeee! Heinous threat to life, liberty and the American Way.

As the frenzied bashing of Arizona state laws that no one in the Obama Justice Department has actually read, two Mexican ILLEGALS were busted (by local authorities) in Texas. The ILLEGALS, Damaso Alberto Rueda Cabrera and Arnulfo de la Cruz Sanchez, caught in possession of some 147 assault rifles with 10,000 rounds of ammunition and various sundry gun-related items.

Being felons in possession of firearms, if they were American citizens they could be sentenced to a maximum of five years in prison or $250,000 per violation, or a maximum of 735 years and $36,750,000. But, since they were ILLEGALS, they apparently have more rights than mere American citizens, so they were sentenced to terms of TEN DAYS and FORTY FIVE DAYS for pleading guilty to entering the United States illegally. Of course, the ATF is involved. You didn’t have to even ask, did you?

Ten and 45 days? Why even bother. If it were you or me, American Citizens, we would have been buried so far under a federal prison that we would pray for a cockroach just to have some company. Hell, they killed Randy Weaver’s wife and son over a sawed-off shotgun. Seventy six branch division men, women, and children were roasted alive because the BAT-men believed that, even though they had not done anything illegal at that point, they could possibly be modifying legal arms into illegal arms. There are people still in prison because the ATF managed to define shoestrings, a single spring, or malfunctioning weapon as a MACHINE GUN.

In fact, since the judge scoffed at their asinine conspiracy theory regarding the Hutaree, the Feds took some time off to regroup and have now filed an entirely new set of charges involving illegal weapons and bomb-making materials. By BATF definition, if you have a shoestring and a piece of plumbing in your garage you are probably guilty of possessing a machine gun and bomb-making materials. They’re probably considered weapons of mass destruction, too. I wouldn’t doubt that the Hutaree’s suddenly unearthed “unregistered short-barreled rifles” as claimed by the Feds have fresh hacksaw marks in the metal.

Other dangerous threats the Federal government is protecting is from lately are those pesky Amish again. The Environmental Protection Agency, showing it too can be as rogue as the ATF, is using its own unconstitutional rules and regulations to go after Amish dairy farmers in Lancanster County, Pennsylvania. If they can’t sop the Amish from producing whole milk, I guess they’re just gonna stop them from farming altogether.

The EPA is charging the Amish with polluting Chesapeake Bay with cow poop. Almost a century of huge industrial complexes in the area dumping their untreated wastes into streams and tributaries flowing to the Bay until caught and fined (if at all) apparently has no environmental impact whatsoever. Major cities dumping all kinds of unspeakable filth into lakes and rivers get a pass for monetary and political reasons. Big $$$$ payoff covers up much if any media attention while Amish farmers are now targeted to distract from the Mega-Agribusiness, big industry and large metropolitan areas dumping.

Yes, it is ironic that the Amish and Mennonites fled Europe in the 1700’s to avoid government persecution and believe that they should take care of their own and are mistrustful of outsiders in general and government in particular. Could their freedom and anti-establishment beliefs be contributing to the Feds’ need to whip them into line? Perhaps they are seen as a threat to Big Ag and its governmental mercenaries. Or maybe it’s just some more good old-fashioned Christian bashing. I’ll bet if they were a Muslim sect Uncle Sammy Obammy wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole.

What is it about dairy farmers that so pisses the government off? The Department of Fatherland, er I mean Motherland, er I mean Homeland “Security” is threatening to use Eminent Domain to confiscate land from another family dairy farm. What with all the gunfights, border incursions, chaos, and ruin going on at the international borders, Uncle Sammy has finally seen that it need to use a wad of “stimulus” money to build a fancy new border checkpoint.

Of course, this is not in Texas or Arizona. It’s in VERMONT! Yes, a border station that sees an average of FORTY vehicles per day needs to be expanded…at the expense of taking land from a local family dairy farm…to protect us from the insidious and violent Canadian border invasion.

DHS spokesperson Obergruppenfuhrer Barb Wire stood up for the decision. “Why, just last year this important border security post intercepted and apprehended some three Canadians, two of whom were trying to smuggle non-American bacon into the country, and one who was armed with an unregistered hockey sick.”

"Don't worry. We know what's best. We're from the government, and we're to help you. So shut your face and take this chip in your forehead."

HIGH SCHOOLS IN MEXIFORNIA

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