Saturday, May 03, 2008

An Open Letter To "Divided We Fail"


Dear Socialist Wienies:

You say you seek to get government to “put partisan gridlock aside” and get things done on, what you say are, the most pressing issues facing the country, namely healthcare and retirement security. I haven’t been around as long as the oldsters in AARP who are helping you push this socialist agenda, but I know one thing already: When the Democrats and Republicans agree on anything, I better not bend over.

I pray everyday for gridlock in Washington D.C.! It’s the closest thing to fiscal discipline that our government can muster. The only thing that Congress enjoys more than spending money like whores in a crack house is stealing liberty from the people. I’ll take partisan bickering over them “getting things done” any day, because “getting things done“ usually involves separating me from my money and/or freedom.

There are numerous reasons why I’m opposed to the rest of your agenda of federal meddling with healthcare and “financial security.”

Firstly, it’s unconstitutional. The U.S. Constitution grants Congress no authority over healthcare nor retirement in Article 1, Section 8. To “dummy-proof” things further, the 10th Amendment states: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” No doubt you think that the interstate commerce clause or the general welfare clause gives the federal government power to do whatever it wants. I find it puzzling that these two clauses would negate the entire rest of the Constitution.

Secondly, we can’t afford it. As of April, the total U.S. federal debt was approximately $9.5 trillion, about $31,100 per U.S. resident. Of this amount, debt held by the public was roughly $5.3 trillion. If unfunded Medicaid, Social Security, etc. promises are added, this figure rises to a total of $59.1 trillion. You want them to spend more money? I know, I know, we don’t have to go further in debt. We can just raise taxes, right? Again, separating the American people from their money is clearly your goal.

Thirdly, the federal government can’t handle it. The federal government couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. What is it that the federal government really does well? I can’t think of anything either. I’d say stealing my money, but they’re not even terribly efficient on that. It already has too many pokers in the fire and has become a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none. In a few years these new programs will be teetering on the verge of collapse like Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and the rest of the big-government socialist “safety net” and will require huge transfusions of taxpayer money to “save them for future generations.”

One thing that I have NO problem with is your logo. You’ve cleverly spliced together the rear of the Democrat donkey and the front of the Republican elephant. That, at least, is a fitting representation of your socialist plan: Part bloated behemoth, part jackass.

An Angry Crank


Bawb said...

Hey, c'mon dude. How can we have REAL CHANGE unless we elect Power Mad Socialist (R) or Power Mad Socialist (D)? Then they can "work together" to, um, well, uh, make things more betterer. Yeah, that's it. Just because we're 9 Trillion in debt and can't pay for any of the current programs is no reason not to spend more. Just enjoy the nice fiddle music and the bread and circuses until the whole lousy house of cards collapses.

Ben said...

Darn! All I got was a canned "your input is important to us" form-letter in response.

That was kind of fun though, so I think "Letters From an Angry Crank" might have to be a recurring feature on the blog. Sooner or later I'll cheese-off some organization enough to send me a REAL response. Mwaa-ha-ha-ha!

Bawb said...

Endeavor to persevere! Surely we must soon at least annoy the Obaminations just as we peeved off the McCainanites not long ago. In the incredibly target-rich environment provided by Barack and McCain, however, Hillary has been getting a pass. Maybe we need to ridicule her a bit, as well. Then the Femi-Nazis will hate us too.