Monday, August 03, 2009


Well, we’ve got a lot of wacky stuff to cover…again. And we though was out of control under Bush. Ha-ha! Look at what’s going on in the United States of Zimbabwe these days.

First off, the National Guard is trying to recruit for a new MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) known as an Internment/Resettlement Specialist.

As an Internment/Resettlement Specialist for the Army National Guard, you will ensure the smooth running of military confinement/correctional facility or detention/internment facility, similar to those duties conducted by civilian Corrections Officers. This will require you to know proper procedures and military law; and have the ability to think quickly in high-stress situations. Specific duties may include assisting with supervision and management operations; providing facility security; providing custody, control, supervision, and escort; and counseling individual prisoners in rehabilitative programs.
Pentagon Guard Spokesman General Sol d’Soul confirmed this new specialty and noted many more exciting new jobs were in the works, including Cattle Car Repair Specialist, Gulag Guard, Mass Grave Heavy Equipment Operator, Mad Scientist who Experiments on Jews, and Guy-in-Trench Coat who Walks Down the Street Demanding “Vere are your papers?!?!”

Sound a little extreme? Crazy Bob’s off the deep end again with this police state talk? Au Contrere. As if to confirm the other police state insanity, the Chicago Police Department has decided officers can just go ahead and shoot anyone on suspicion of being a felon.

The new policy, from police Supt. Jody Weis and confirmed by WBBM Newsradio 780 Wednesday morning, would allow police officers to shoot at fleeing vehicles if the driver or passengers are suspected of committing a felony.

The Superintendent also noted "We soon hope to be adding cool Judge Dredd helmets for officers and 'I am the Law!' bumper stickers on the cruisers, to make the program more popular with the younger least until we shoot them."

How can this crazy stuff go on? Well, let’s take a look at the sheer brilliance of the Kenyan and his hand-picked Whiz Kid Kenyettes running the country.

Science Czar John Holden, always right on top of the latest scientific discoveries, announced that babies grow up into human beings! Whew! I'm glad they got that one aired out. I was wondering for a long time about that, going alternately with either the "stork" or "pumpkin patch" theories myself.

“The fetus, given the opportunity to develop properly before birth, and given the essential early socializing experiences and sufficient nourishing food during the crucial early years after birth, will ultimately develop into a human being." When asked of the significance of his discovery Holden opined, "Well, it's still no reason we shouldn't abort them."

Our old tax-dodgin' pal Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, after pissing away $787 billion, has now taken the position that "the U.S. must cut the annual federal budget deficit, now more than $1 trillion, for the economy to have a sustained recovery and he's not ruling out new taxes." Still struggling to remove his fingers from a pair of Chinese handcuffs he started playing with some 2-1/2 weeks ago, the only man smart enough to fix the recession furrowed his brow and also announced, "Now that the entire herd of horses has stampeded over the far horizon, we are looking into the possibility of perhaps closing the barn door."

And why aren't we hearing these stories trumpeted to the heavens? If Bush or any of his cronies had said anything like this, the MSM would have crucified them as being dumber than a box of rocks. We're still beating up on Dan Qayle for the potato thing, and Sarah Palin is vilified as an in-bred web-footed mouth-breather, but you never heard about stuff like Barack's 57 state campaign, or not knowing if he was in Wyoming or Wisconsin, or saying that an inhaler/breathalyser/inhalator is the same thing.

Not to worry; you're never going to hear such stories now from the new, literally state-run media. Dan "I didn't know the National Guard records from 1972 printed with a laser printer could possibly be fake" Rather is back, basically begging the Obama Administration to run the media, too.

Dan Rather called on President Barack Obama to form a White House commission to help save the press Tuesday night in an impassioned speech at the Aspen Institute.

“I personally encourage the president to establish a White House commission on public media,” the legendary newsman said.
"We could name it something really cool like The Ministry of Truth, or Pravda, or perhaps the Reich Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda."

“A truly free and independent press is the red beating heart of democracy and freedom,” Rather said in an interview yesterday afternoon.
"And if you don't believe it, come on down to the Ministry of Truth this week any day from nine to six and enjoy all the free samples of Kool-Aid you can drink!" Speaking about the American press’ traditional role of being the "watchdog on power", Rather sniffed, "Just because you're always lying in the shade of the Whitehouse porch, vigorously licking yourself, doesn't mean you're not a good watchdog."

Ben likes to joke about my mountain bunker, but there are more and more days now when I seriously consider renting a backhoe and cement mixer.


Jerry said...

I'll help if we can put in a room for my family too! You know I can shoot straight.

Bawb said...

The Science Czar says Montana would be a good place for your children to develop into human beings.

Ben said...

No mountain top bunker? So what happened to all those checks I've been sending you every month for "bunker construction" then?