Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Emperor Obama, whom the state-run media still fails to notice has no clothes, has won another important victory in his healthcare boondoggle. Yes, just as his campaign was endorsed by none other than crackpot Libyan Dictator Muammar Khadafy, his 2,300-page (and counting) health care monstrosity has been endorsed by semi-retired doddering senile Cuban Dictator Fidel Castro! Soon, we will be able to enjoy the same benefits of socialized medicine the Cuban people have, as seen in these pictures of places Michael Moore somehow just happened to miss.

Give it about 25 years, Amerika.

An endorsement from Fidel Castro these days is right up there with an endorsement from Jimmy Carter, but Fidel has long been extolling the virtues of black Democrat leaders. For instance, when Jesse Jackson traveled to Cuba, with an entourage that included Reverend Jeremiah “God-damn America!” Wright, Castro was somehow able to say…with a straight face no less…of Justice Brother Jesse, "He is a great personality, a brilliant man with a great talent, capable of communicating with people, very persuasive, reliable, honest. Jackson's main characteristic is honesty. He is sincere and there is not a single bit of demagoguery in his conversations."

This go-round, Castro did end his endorsement of Obamacare with a scolding to the United States. "It is really incredible that 234 years after the Declaration of Independence ... the government of that country has approved medical attention for the majority of its citizens, something that Cuba was able to do half a century ago," Castro said in an interview from the back of his 1957 Chevy Bel Air convertible, one of the estimated seventeen automobiles still running on the island.

It should come as no surprise that a Communist Dictator should praise Obamacare. Texas Representative Ron Paul compares it to nothing more than the disastrous old Soviet system of Centralized Planning. I’m sure Uncle Joe would be as approving of this fiasco as Fidel is. Paul noted, “The idea that a handful of brilliant minds can somehow steer an economy is fatal to economic growth and stability. The Soviet Union's economy failed because of its central economic planning, and the U.S. economy will suffer the same fate if we continue down the path toward more centralized control. We need to bring back sound money and free markets- yes, even in health care- if we hope to soften the economic blows coming our way.”

Paul also said, “I had the opportunity last week to address my concerns with both Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, especially about the potential for the coming serious inflation. I am not optimistic that these important decision makers truly understand what is coming, why it is coming, and how best to deal with it.”

“Poo-poo ca-ca!” replied Geithner, the only tax cheat smart enough to save the economy, pausing from eating paste and scribbling on the Mayflower Compact with a crayon. “The Emperor and I know exactly what we’re doing. Now, if you’ll help me tie my shoe, I must be off. The Beverly Hillbillies comes on in five minutes. That Mr. Drysdale is really smart, ain't he?"

Comparing Obamacare to the old Soviet system is indeed apt. After all, it was good old Joe Stalin who said, “One death is a tragedy; one million is a statistic.” And “Death is the solution to all problems. No man - no problem.” Harry Reid, looking up from burning ants on the sidewalk with a magnifying glass, glowered thoughtfully and noted. “Hmmmm. Those would make good slogans for Obamacare when it gets up and running!”

Five out of six Communist Dictators with state-run health care systems, including Dr. Fidel here, agree: "Death is the solution to all problems. No man, no problem."

Representative Michael Burgess, another Republican from Texas, expressed concern that if the mandate in the health care law requiring individuals to purchase health insurance, the federal government could mandate anything, such as requiring all Americans to purchase a General Motors car, for instance.

Nancy Pelosi, taking time out from chasing an imaginary butterfly up and down the aisles of the House of Representatives, tried unsuccessfully to put a thoughtful expression onto her permanently smiling Botoxed face. “That's ridiculous! That could never happen! We’ll force you to buy the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition 2000 instead."

One bright spot did show up on the radar this week as the Tenth Amendment continues to struggle to rise from its shallow grave. In Utah, roughly two thirds of the state is owned by the Federal government, where Bill Clinton made a 1.7 million acre land grab in 1996 and the Obama Regime is planning to take more. Utah Governor Gary Herbert recently signed a bill authorizing the State of Utah to use “eminent domain” to seize federal land to put it to better use. You never saw those kind of Unintended Consequences coming when you shat upon the Constitution in the Kelo case, did you “Justice” Souter?

However, the very next day heavily-armed federal agents wearing black ski masks bludgeoned Herbert’s state trooper escort and dragged the governor away, kicking and screaming, to an unmarked van.

A Whitehouse spokesperson later said, “Governor Herbert has unexpectedly taken ‘ill’ and we are rushing him to a new federal health care facility in an undisclosed location where we can ‘cure’ him. Trust us. It’s for his own good…and for the children”


Anonymous said...

You get to poop on the floor? Awesome! Can't wait.

Ben said...

Pooping on the floor. A fitting metaphor for Obamacare. Don't worry, our kids and grandkids can clean it up.