Wednesday, March 18, 2009


It would seem that there might be other things that our beloved government could worry about in this day and age than the Amish, but appearances are deceiving. In Pennsylvania, where the hotbed of Amish milk traffickers was only recently crushed, the pacifist Christian sect is now in deep you-know-what…literally…with a judge over outhouses.

The Amish, as they do in Iowa where I grew up, have their own small country schools. This school had two quaint old structures out back known as outhouses, something everyone in this country used for the past three hundred years or so. My parents grew up using outhouses. The planet somehow survived. But now these Amish crappers are suddenly a threat to mankind.

Due to some goofy, overzealous, inappropriate-to-the-circumstances environmental wacko law, the state of Pennsylvania (named after William Penn, BTW, a Quaker who came to this continent because he and others of his faith just wanted to be LEFT THE HELL ALONE by the government in Europe) has gone after Andy Swartzentruber for failing to make the outdoor poopers comply with the mandates of the state.

When it comes right down to it, Andy is being punished for standing up to the government. They hate that. They want quiet, obedient little serfs who don’t dare to question their (often unconstitutional and arbitrary) authority. Andy committed the crime of just saying “No!” to petty bureaucratic tyranny. Now he will pay the price.

Andy’s cooling his heels in the local slammer while the Amish school…and its deadly privies…has been padlocked by authorities to keep the insurrectionists out. Next, the government will probably go after the Amish kids for not attending the school they are locked out of by the same government.

You know things are bad when the Amish have to home school!

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